Tuesday, April 23, 2013

cutting comparisons

I don't know about you, but I tend to compare myself to others, I would say daily.  Perhaps several times a day.  It may be as early as seeing my husband run down the street as I sip my coffee, wondering if I'll ever get myself out there like that.  Or maybe as I pack my kids lunches, staring down at the cheese stick, yogurt and sandwich, thinking of my good friend who packs lunches full of veggies and fruits and creative things like turkey pinwheels with sprouts of some sort.

As my day continues, I'll see women who are thin and fit, well dressed, hair done and makeup beautifully applied.  And no, these women aren't on tv, they are at school and church.

At work as I take notes long hand, again I lament that I will do my report later on my husband's computer, as we have not yet had the money for me to buy my desired Ipad.  As I drive home from work, I will perhaps notice the well-kept lawns and bigger, beautiful homes.

Ten minutes after my kids get home from school, maybe I will yell that I WILL CHOOSE THE SNACK AND SHOW SINCE THEY CAN'T AGREE ON ANYTHING, and my mind will flash with a picture of a mom I know, who abhors yelling and as far as I know, has never done it.

I put dinner on the table for my girls, waiting to eat until later with Kevin.  I am reminded that eating at the table as a family is best, and I sigh.  I sigh again, as my children beg me to not make them eat the gross, smelly, disgusting singular carrot or broccoli spear on their plate.

As I lay my head on my pillow, whispering a note of thanks to God for a day with our needs met, love in our hearts and continued health, I say my prayer with a feeling of guilt that I did not give more of my day to Him.  I think on the author of the book study I am currently behind in, and remember her words of encouragement to spend time everyday reading the Word and in prayer.  I remember her sharing how she gave up tv, as she felt it kept her from time with the Lord and distracted her.  I turn on King of Queens and fall asleep.

Yes, I compare myself to others all-the-time.  Try as I might to silence that pesky voice in my head, without me even realizing it, I know she pipes up every day.  "You're so fat, look at how pretty your friend is."  "Going to the store for produce with pesticides while so-and-so grows her own AND her family eats all of it without complaining that it's gross and disgusting." "They have such a nice marriage..."

But.  Someone may be comparing herself or family to me.  What?!  But it's true.  And you, my friend, do you compare yourself to others too?  I can guarantee someone is also thinking parts of your grass are greener.  Maybe not the whole yard, but the nice garden in the corner, or your lovely tree out back.

I am not perfect, nor will I ever be.  Even if I do tackle some of my challenges and my own grass gets a little greener, there will always be some dead patches.

Today I am grateful for who I am, what I have, and my little yard that needs a lot of work.  Because it's mine and was given to me.

Look at your own yard through sharper glasses my friends.  Chances are you have lovely, thriving trees  that your neighbor wishes they had.  Like me.  I could really use a dogwood tree and a veggie garden.

Ah, but no child in this house would eat anything from it.  I'll stick with my dandelions.

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