Friday, June 28, 2013

so far...

So far, one week and one day into our summer vacation....

...we saw Little Mermaid at Paper Mill Playhouse - broadway quality show and the girls loved it.  The first half of the show I sat next to a gun chewing heavy breather and after switching with Kevin for the second half, I sat next to a 5 year old who said every 3 minutes that this Ariel was different than the real Ariel.  But she accidentally held my hand a few times so I couldn't be too disgruntled.  I was reminded I have sensory issues (where on earth does Taylor get it from?!)  Girls loved the evening spent with family and their fave princess.  Success.

...we went to the beach.  Was not without incident, including time spent with a lifeguard, and shoulder sunburns.  But came home healthy and happy - success.

...went to the pool with friends and stayed until they closed.  Last ones out.  Success.

...I fell tripping over flip flops and beside bruising my hand and ankle, was not hurt.  Could have easily "ruined" much of the summer.  Success.

...powerwashed outside kid toys (and the deck which now looks streaky) that I have such sweet memories with but they have outgrown.  Sold to friends and using the money to fund summer fun.  Success.

...was forced to be inside during what must be record breaking rain.  House has no leaks and I actually was able to vacuum...success.

...was told that I no longer have to do a case that was really stressing me out at work.  Kids had mani-pedis with NanNan and saw Monsters U while I did work.  Success.

...went to dinner with my mom at Outback.  Delicious and I love siting across from my mom talking about stuff.  Success.

...went to the lake with a friend and as I watched her chase 2 toddlers aged 2 and 1, I reflected that although I miss it, and I'd be carting around a baby this summer if I had my way, my girls are at a great age.  I am still needed but not every.single.second.  We came home and I ate lunch laying in bed watching Love It or List It while they played Wii.  Success.

...vented to a good friend who let me go to crazy town while the girls painted with things she gave them.  They didn't want to leave and neither did I.  Success.

...hacked off gorgeous hydrangeas from a friend's plant and used them for centerpieces for our church's Chit Chat and Chocolate night.  Poured rain but 8 people still showed!!  Kept some hydrangeas for myself and added wildflowers from my own paltry garden.  Success.

...playdate at a friend's house while Kevin borrowed their truck.  Felt so thankful for good friends that are giving, fun, and loving.  Taylor made a sign for the bedroom door that said, "No Moms Allwod....or Dads."  Pizza dinner, came home for showers and playing "wishy wipers" when Kevin and I take their hands and feet and swing them onto the couch.  Intense laughter, so much so it scared the cat.  Success.

I am hoping YOUR summer so far is a success!!!  YES we have also had blood (literally), sweat (profusely) and tears (is it possible for children to go a day without whining or crying...or just my children?!)...but as I lay my head on the pillow I am so grateful for this Fun Summer!!  They will only be these ages once!

Thursday, June 20, 2013

summer to do list

Figured I might as well type it up here, to remind me of our - my - goals this summer.  I say my and not ours because if I let my girls know of these goals they'll only ask me 1000 times an hour why we're not accomplishing one of them if in fact I have said Screw It and turned on a movie in the air conditioning.

*Swim.  A lot.  Beach and pool.  Go at times with just girls alone to force quality time with mama.


*Visit one place to actually learn something.  Art museum perhaps.

*Schedule one playdate a week with a school friend.  Church friend playdates happen all summer thankfully, and bonus I feel more comfy in my swimsuit with church friends.  They know if they judge me they'll go straight to hell so they try harder not to wonder why I haven't gotten a handle on my ass.  Kidding, a little.

*Paint their bookcases and add their painted handprints in a corner.  I have wanted to do this project since they were little, these are in their rooms and my dad made them when I was young.  I have only wanted to do this project for several years.  Their hands are now humongous.

*Adding to the "I have wanted to do this project for several years" category - finish filing important papers to my In Case I Croak and Kevin Has To Handle the Bills and All That Important Shit binder / catch up on picture albums / organize and save girls artwork from this past year.  I plan to accomplish these things while the girls are at VBS in the mornings for a week.  The chance of this happening versus running errands, doing chores or perusing blogs while having coffee?  Nil.

*Catch up on the latest technology.  The girls have Ipods and would L.O.V.E to text each other but I don't know how to set it up.  True story.

Seriously Mom what am I supposed to do here?!  You still haven't set up texting on my Ipod?
 How am I supposed to ask my sister stuff, who's sitting right next to me?  How???!!!  

*Learn a few Bible verses.  The one about honoring your parents seems good, I'll start with that.

*Have Cheap Mom Salon night to do mani-pedis

*Live through it.  Without my kids having more fodder for their future years in therapy.  Like "I remember one time, after 2 months full of playdates and fun, Mom was looking haggard but she was still mobile.  It was 100 degrees outside and I asked her if we could go to the playground with no shade and she lost it and started crying and screaming and asking why we want to hurt her...I was confused, all I wanted was to get there and realize the slide was 1000 degrees and start whining and bitching and then demand to go to Chick Fil A.  I don't get it, what was her problem?"  Their therapist, a younger adult who has not yet had children home for a summer, will respond with, "She sounds awful, how did you manage?"

These are my simple yet mostly unattainable goals for summer.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013


You know it's been too long since you've blogged when you have to sign in to write a post.  Sigh.

I guess I have not been very motivated to write.  I have felt a cloud of depression hanging over me...not surrounding me so that I can not see through it's haze, but way up there where I can see it, and it follows me as I walk.  I have had a lot of joy, but these moments of deep sadness.  Most of it about the baby we lost, I miss him all the time, but other things too.  Can't put my finger on the reasons, just a way of being here and there.

Does that make any sense?

Well, as of tomorrow afternoon it is summertime here.  Girls will get off the bus at 1:15pm  and will be mine until September 9.  Our first full day off will be fun, as they don't know it but we're going to see Little Mermaid at Paper Mill Playhouse.  My in-laws are treating, it is my father-in-law's birthday.  I also am looking forward to giving him his gift - something he really wanted but I told him I probably could not get.  He will be surprised and so happy!  He is a good father.  I miss my own dad, especially in the summer as that was when he was happiest, with our pool and the beach, but Kevin's dad is a good man.  When I was engaged to Kevin I remember thinking what a wise choice I was making.   If Kevin grew into the man his father was - loving to his wife after decades of marriage, a fun dad, a strong provider, a faith-filled man...I was good to go.

That was an unexpected side conversation.  This is how I talk in real life, when I can't edit myself and move sentences around.

Next time I write I will have more focus, more to say...but as I sit here in the hour before I have to leave for my girls' class parties, I feel kind of ugh.  Isn't that a feeling?