towards, not away

It's 9:06 am and around this time 12 years ago our nation came screeching to a halt as we were attacked.  In the days, weeks, months and years ahead, we grieved for those lost and those who were left behind.  My mind couldn't really wrap around what that day did, because I didn't lose a loved one.  I wasn't there for the carnage, the devastation.  I didn't stand in the ash, I wasn't there in that field.  I didn't pick up any pieces, I stood on the sidelines and watched in awe as others did.  As flags rose up high, as parents, spouses and children went on breathing, and living.  I watched, and I learned.

I learned that the America I loved wasn't just good, it was great.  I learned that there were men and women who ran, not walked, to sign up and serve our country.  Just as those firefighters ran towards those doomed buildings, not away.  Just as those men and women on flight 93 rose up against the terrorists and crashed their plane to the ground.  You see, to me, 9-11-01 is not an anniversary of what a group of people with a death wish did to bring down our country.  It is the day when we ran towards, not away.  Heroism.

TOWARDS.
Please forgive me I have no idea how to tell you who took this picture.
It was grouped with other pictures on heroism on 9-11.
I encourage you to google that too, as they are very, very touching.

So when I hear "9-11, never forget" - I won't.  I won't forget the loss, ever.  My heart will always hurt for what happened that day.  But I won't forget the lesson I learned either, in facing danger for the greater good.  I didn't read about it, I saw it.  And I'll never, ever forget it.

through their eyes

There I am folks, no make-up and I look like I have a man's haircut but it's just really pulled back in my standard issue ponytail.  My eyes have disappeared it appears, and one boob looks lower than the other.  Perhaps it's the side both my girls favored when they nursed, who knows it's been a million years.

Oh, you weren't looking that closely to notice the hang-age of my boobs?

That's exactly my point.  We are so hard on ourselves, aren't we?

My daughter Taylor is a tough cookie but for some reason, she repeatedly says things to me like, "you're so pretty mommy" and "you're my favorite looker, mommy".  She loves snuggling with me and resting her hand against my tummy...yes, probably because the softness soothes her with her sensory issues.

Sometimes when I get really down about how I look, I try to see myself through her eyes, and it renews my gratitude for all I have.

If you are feeling down today, think of someone who loves you and try to look at yourself through their eyes.  It will make you feel better I promise!

it's been real

Bye summer.  

You were good to us.  Mostly.  

10 months until we are back together again.

On Monday the girls start school.  I am,

 as usual this time of year, quite depressed about it.

Will I love to have a hot cup of coffee? 

Yes.

Will I love to get my rats nest hair done and perhaps

really get this chlorine washed out by a professional?

Yes.

Will I love to go to work without having to wrangle childcare?

Yes.

Will I love to have an hour go by without asking why the girls are

arguing over a particular Barbie when they own 30 of them?

Yes.

But will I miss summer and my girls TERRIBLY?

Yes.  

It also means my babies are that much older, 

that they are in 4th and 2nd grades.

Where does the time go?

Peace-out summer.

Please, do come again, and don't take so long this time.