Flash Forward Friday - to do list

Okay so April is more than mid-way done, where did these last 4 months of 2011 go?!  I am discouraged about the lack of progress I've made with my January resolutions/to-do list.  I think part of the problem is I think way too big.  I still have busy days with parenting, cleaning, couponing, MOPS planning, and a million little things...so to do a lot more each day on top of that is unrealistic.  But I want to get stuff done, so here's another to-do list.

By the end of the year, I want to...

*MONEY GOALS*

*pay off Kevin's car (6% interest) and our new mattress (0% interest).  Both of the loans would be paid off early by 2 yrs, leaving only our mortgage as debt.

*have a zero balance to CHOP.  This is less likely of a goal, as we visit quarterly and her fall visit is her "annual" where we rack up the biggest bill and usually don't pay it off until tax return time.  But we have new insurance this year so I hope to be pleasantly surprised by how much less we'll owe.

*continue saving hundreds of dollars off of our grocery budget.  Want to focus more on our eating-out budget and pare that down.  Last night's Houlihans bill of $58 doesn't count. :)

*pay for our vacations.  We are going to Lancaster for a long weekend, Wildwood for a week, Williamsburg for a week, Vegas for 5 days, and WV for a long weekend.  Kevin won't be going to Wildwood or VA...bless his heart he'll be working for the girls and I to enjoy those things.  His parents gifted us the Wildwood week, their friends have a house - but we pay for the groceries (cheap w my couponing!) and boardwalk evenings.  We save for that with loose change, we have about $100 so far.  They also gifted us the Williamsburg trip, but we pay for gas, food, etc.  (I know, we are so fortunate to have generous parents).  WV the girls and I will be staying with my cousin so that just means gas and spending money.  Vegas we already paid for the room, plane and show tix - we need gambling, food, spending, gas and rental care money.  Lancaster we still need to pay for all of it, but we got a good deal.  I plan to pay for vacations out of our tax return money, which I put in our savings acct.

*do one thing to the house.  I think that may be some much-needed yard work...like getting a yard.  We have dirt, sand, trees and tree stumps.  We want grass and some aesthetic trees/bushes added, a few more trees out and stumps removed.  If we are fortunate enough to pay off the mattress and car, that will free up room in our budget each month in 2012 to get....NEW FLOORING!!!  I'd add an 'amen' here but it seems irreverent.  But you get my gist.

*sell items at a garage sale and finally learn how to do Craigslist/Ebay.

*If Taylor does in fact get approved for full-day school (Marlton is 1/2 day kindergarten but her teacher is recommending she attend 1/2 day "normal" kindergarten and then second 1/2 of the day attend special ed kindergarten.) I want to find a part-time job.  Nothing crazy, just get my feet wet back in the career-world.

*SELF GOALS*

*Lose weight!! Come on, you knew this was #1.  I have lost about 6 lbs from my weight at New Years but ugh, I feel like such a failure.  Waiting for divine motivation to kick in.  Along these lines, and even more importantly really, I want to be fit.  Thankfully, I am "healthy" by way of my bloodwork, but if a murderer was chasing me, I'd have maybe 1 minute left of my life.

*Continue to be more patient with the girls. This is something I've been working on and thankful to say I have done better with.

*Be a nicer wife.  More loving, have more of a servant's heart.

*Read the Bible more, pray more, and do so with my girls.

All this to-do-ing is making me tired.  That's it for now.

Flash Forward Friday - boys

I always wanted a girl. I HAD to have a girl.  I told Kevin that if we had boys I would adore them, but we were getting a girl one way or another (in hindsight, whatever.)  I don't think he was listening to me, he'd just kind of nod and start a new conversation.  But God heard me, and gave me 2.  I am thankful for that ALL the time, I LOVE my girlie girls.

I never said I had to have a boy.  They intimidated me, and I felt I had nothing in common with them.  Also, I thought I'd be a bad boy-mommy, because the thought of trucks and cars and trains bored me just thinking about it.  And as a boy grew, what do you talk about with a teenage boy?  For whatever reason, boys just weren't an experience, if you will, that I HAD to have.  In fact, I wanted a girl so much that if I saw a mom with a passel of boys, I'd feel a bit bad for her.

Don't judge me...I know I'm weird.   And let me put on the record, that WITHOUT A DOUBT, if I had been blessed with boys, I would have given thanks to God, and I would LOVE them.

But would my boy leave me for his girl, his wife, just like all boys do?  Boys love their mamas, but the adult relationship between a mother and a son seems very different usually, than the relationship between a mother and her daughter.  Broadly speaking, of course.

Anyway, I don't know what my relationship with my girls will be like as the years go on, but I pray we're close.  I pray they talk to me, and let me in their lives.  I pray they respect me, listen to me, love me.

I pray they live close and let me have my grandchildren for the day - a lot.

I digress.  What I was going to say, is that my heart has changed towards little boys.  I'm not scared of them anymore, and I think if we had had one, I'd really enjoy raising him.  I see these cute little short haired boys (God help me if they have curls!) with their striped polos and dirty sneaks and I just melt.  They are so adorable!  Just today at the Y, while Tatie was having her swim lesson, my eyes kept going to this little boy who had shark swim trunks on, his goggles askew, and I just wanted to kiss his face.

His mom would've called the cops, I don't even know this kid's name.  He's not even in Tatie's class.

Kevin and I are done having children, and most days I'm okay with that.  If we didn't have a health risk, if we had a bigger house, a bigger income...we probably would want another child.  Well, I would...Kevin always wanted 2 and is very content.  Anyway, we have not permanently prevented a pregnancy and God could bless us with a child, but I don't see that happening.  So I am really looking forward to being an aunt someday, or at least a fake aunt to a really good friend's baby, so I could love that baby up and enjoy infancy and toddlerhood to the fullest - minus the sleepless nights, breast infections, colic, doctor appts, financial responsibility, etc that comes with having another child.

And I'm really hoping for a boy.  It's all about me, right?