Simple pleasures

I haven't done a top 10 in a while, so I thought I'd do one.  Here are my top 10 simple pleasures in life.

1.  Tucking in my girls.  Unless I've had it with them.

2.  Date night in.  Date night out.  You get the gist.

Yes, my pants are bright orange, it's not your eyes.

3.  Being at the beach with my girlfriends and all of our kids together, for the whole day and into the evening.  Wow I miss that so much the 8 months of the year we can't do it.  Now, let me clarify that not every moment is a pleasure...the million trips to the bathroom with Tate who needs her sensory breaks, the million screams of "That's far enough Bailey!  Far enough Taylor.  GIRLS!!!  Listen to me or you will sit out!  Bailey, stop going underwater when I'm talking to you!  Taylor!!  I SAID THAT'S FAR ENOUGH!!"  But the sun, the water, my children's joy, being with great friends who don't bat an eye at me in my skirted bathing suit, the feeling of my toes digging into the sand, the gratitude I feel that this is my life - I love it.

My beach beauties - Taylor is 4 yrs old here, Bailey is 6.  Waaa that they are now 8 and 6.  Or yay depending on the day.

4.  Holding my infant nephew.  He is precious.

5.  Shopping and talking with my mom.  I love her.

We spent the day in NYC, also with my cousin, her daughter, and my aunt.  We had the best time seeing the Statue of Liberty from this boat ride, but the best part of the day was picking out American Girl dolls and having tea at the AG store.  SO FUN!!!  God knew what He was doing making me a mama of girls, I love it.

6.  Reading.  Preferably in the tub.  Preferably without the kids or Kevin interrupting me every other sentence.

7.  Talking to my sis-in-law on the phone.  For hours.  She is fun.

8.  Getting a backrub from Kevin.  He's rad.  (We don't use that word nearly enough anymore.  I'm going to bring it back).

9.  Listening to classical music with a hot cup of coffee.

10.  Going to church on Sundays with my family.  I love every single part of it.  The whole day is nice actually.

I want to go to the beach right now!!!!!!!!!!!

I'd love to hear YOUR simple pleasures!!

Why I hope they don't have a nanny-cam

So 2 days a week I babysit for a just-turned-2 year old and thank God, but he hasn't gotten the memo that he can now be in his "terrible twos," and he is an angel.  I love him so much!!   He is cuddly, and funny, and so easy on the eyes with his chubby belly and sweet feet that he crosses when he sits.  I am way too attached.

Anyway, I am good friends with this family I sit for, but you never know if they have some kind of nanny cam rigged in every room.  They're high tech people, and I totally get it if they did - that's their baby.   If they do, most of the time they will find me taking care of their boy - and couponing while he naps.

Most of the time I don't think about such a camera, but once in awhile I do when I, you know, go to the bathroom with the door wide open bc I don't want him to do something on my watch - like put a marble up his nose or a Thomas train down his throat.  And today...today I thought about the camera.

So we were downstairs where the playroom is, and I had brought down a cup of water for myself.  I sat on the floor, and put the cup behind a ride-in car that they have down there.  I actually thought, "Self, you are being dumb bringing that water down here.  It's going to spill."  And sure enough, somehow the car got bumped and water spilled and soaked my bum.  I quickly stood up trying to figure out exactly how soaked I was - very.  Ok, we only had about 45 minutes until we left, and after dropping him off to Mommy, I had to run to the store for milk and such.  Now, for some reason since becoming a mom and basically losing all sense of style and dignity, I never mind anymore going to the store in my sweats.  I don't mind going most anywhere in my sweats, except maybe to church on Sunday.  But I did mind looking like I pissed myself.  I grabbed a towel from their bathroom and blotted up all the water, and went to the laundry room to see if I could dry my pants.  Since my little guy doesn't talk much and say at an inopportune time something like, "Miss B was walking around our house with no pants on", I felt ok taking my pants off to throw in their dryer for 10 minutes.  I didn't feel great, I felt just ok.  Unders too.  I yanked my t-shirt as far down as I could while I waited for a few minutes and then I smartened up and realized I could just hold the towel around my waist.  (I'm not too quick).  Every few minutes I'd check to see if they were done.  At one point, bending over to reach in the dryer to check, I dropped the towel.

This is the precise moment when I was hoping they don't have a nanny-cam.  Full moon.  Not to mention the fact that these are skinny people, and they have normal sized towels, not the "bath sheet" kind I favor, which would have fully covered me while I waited for the pants to dry.  Instead, this normal towel gives you more than a peek at what's going on under there.

If they can't look me in the eye without either laughing or crying, I will know I have been cammed.

best and worst

Every night at dinner we do the whole "what was the best/worst" part of your day.  We've only been doing this for maybe a year - dinners before then looked like this:

"Taylor, please sit on your bottom.  Taylor, please stop crying because there are green beans on the table.  Taylor, please stop gagging you don't even have anything in your mouth."

You get the picture.

Anyway, when we sit down together, this is something that starts great conversation.  We also ask the kids when they have "seen God" that day, a concept Bailey gets and Taylor really doesn't, but when she hears Bailey's answer "I saw God when Xander picked me for the 7-up game" she'll answer similarly.

Sometimes the best/worst game is about things at school, sometimes home.  Sometimes their answers make me swell with pride, sometimes I cringe.  But now that my girls are getting older and can hold a conversation like that, I am trying to make time to really listen.  I want to set the stage for them to be used to talking to us and sharing about their day and feelings.

Of course, having 2 girls who already seem to be divas, I expect some eye-rolling in the future when I ask these kind of questions.  That's ok, I'll just take away their itouches - which is fine by me, I want to play with them anyway!

Unexpected opportunites

I recently read a book on Truett Cathy, the founder of Chick-Fil-A.  I expected it to be a boring read to be honest with you, but I couldn't put the book down!  And the message that I took away from the book - besides what an amazing man he is - is that we always have to be on the look-out and ready for "unexpected opportunities."  Truett Cathy is a brilliant businessman to be sure, but I think we have even more to learn from him as someone who seeks out to considerably help others, and change their lives, every day.  He has fostered hundreds of children, as an example.  Associate pastor Randy Peterson spoke on this topic of opening yourself to opportunities also, in his message at church this past Sunday- so I "got the message" and have been really reflecting on that.  Basically, an unexpected opportunity is when you are not looking at that time, to find yourself in a position to help someone, but something happens and you are able to.

Too often, I busy myself with to-do list stuff that doesn't open myself up to interaction with people.  If I have a day where I'm not working at the church or babysitting - which is currently 2 days a week - I am a hermit.  I do my couponing, cleaning, cooking, etc...and yes, I consider that serving my family, or "helping" someone.  But it is too comfortable, too mundane...and not giving God the chance to use me for others.  There are seasons - first coming to mind, the season of having babies and toddlers - where most of your time will be spent serving your family, with little time to serve elsewhere.  Sometimes we are in a season where we need to focus on becoming healthy, and we are unable to give much of ourselves.  I have been through seasons like that, but for the last few years, I am in a season with time to give, and I have.  But God has been pressing on my heart that He has a change in store for me, and I don't know what that is yet.  I tried to get a part-time job at a social work agency, and they hired a full-time staffer instead.  I was disappointed at first, but then I realized that this may be God's handiwork in guiding me towards what He has in mind for me - and I guess that job wasn't it.  For now, anyway.

I am excited about what's coming.  I just feel like something is.  Or maybe it's just more of what I have done already - like sending encouragement notes to people, or making meals.  I do not do that nearly as often as I should...my goal should be weekly.  I feel that I need to do more serving, more encouraging, more interacting with people.  As I do so, I will be teaching my girls 2 crucial Biblical principles - giving and loving.  There is nothing I want more for them, than for their hearts to be generous and full of God's love, spilling over into the lives of their friends and family.  I want them to be healthy, happy, prosperous...of course, all of those things.  But more than anything, I want them to know God, and live God.  I want them to believe in Jesus, and live for him in all they do.  How will they do that, if they don't see their mother living that way.

So tonight I am making a meal for a family.  It's something that I know how to do, and an opportunity presented itself.  On Saturday Kevin and I have our small group dinner, and we are going to be leading a study with other married couples on the book The Five Love Languages.   But I am going to keep my eyes and ears open for more opportunities.

What are ways that you serve?

pat your back

So, I have learned in these past several years, that if you are a Mama, you have guilt.  Mine started when I was newly pregnant.  I realized, counting on my fingers one morning, that I was *late.*  So I dug out a pregnancy test from the closet that I had received in a shower gift, and took it.  I needed to start getting ready for work, so I jumped in the shower, leaving the test on the bathroom counter.  I truly didn't expect it to be positive, it really was just for my peace of mind that I was just late out of stress or the cold I had just had.

Mid-shower I peeked at the test.  2 lines and they weren't light.  Glaring was more like it.  I took it in my hand, and was just shocked looking at it - and then I slipped in the shower.  Fell right on my heiney, the water falling on me...and was immediately guilty!  Pregnant?!  And I fell already!!!  Oh my gosh, and the cold medicine I took last week!!  I haven't been taking folic acid...I haven't been taking any vitamins at all!!

You get my drift?  How often a day do we berate ourselves as mommies?  When we let our kid eat a bag of fruitsnacks, and don't insist they finish their soup.  And when I say soup, I mean the canned stuff, so we feel guilty about that too.  How about when we snap at our little angel to HURRY-UP-AND-GET-DRESSED knowing full well that if we had gotten out of bed earlier than little angel, we could help him/her better and possibly make it through the morning without rushing.  We feel guilty letting them watch another 1/2 hour of tv...make that an hour.  We feel guilty every.single.time we compare our weaknesses to another mommy's strengths.  Sure, another mommy may handmake their child's babyfood, blankets, and have scrapbooks that should be showcased in a magazine...but perhaps they sacrifice time with their child to accomplish those things.  Perhaps your strength isn't handmaking a blessed thing, but you love playing football with your kid outside for hours.

Wait...I don't do either of those things...

But my point is, I do have strengths as a mother.  Plenty of weaknesses that yes, sometimes the guilt can be suffocating!  I am trying to get away from that.  I am trying to remember that God made me a certain way, and I would make much better use of my time using the gifts He gave me to the best of my ability, than to wish for other gifts and abilities that don't come naturally to me.  I don't think it's wrong to try to do something that isn't your "gift" - like learning how to sew even if you seem to be all thumbs.  But when you do so only out of guilt, or to measure up to someone else, it's not going to go well.

So what are your strengths as a mother?  Take some time today to think about it, and give yourself a nice pat on the back.

scripting

"I'll take 2 iced teas, please."

This is what Taylor said to me, waking me up this morning.

"Taylor, you don't drink iced tea and we don't have iced tea - go ask Bailey to get you water." (Daddy was playing basketball or I would have pawned her off on him first).

Yes, moms of little ones - this is what you have to look forward to!!!  In a few years, your older child can serve your younger one so you can SLEEP MORE!!  It only works if you have a very responsible older child who also loves to tattle tale, you sleep with your door open to be awakened to catastrophe, and you have observed for countless weekend mornings your children's ability to zone in to the tv like statues so you are assured they can't get into trouble.

"I said, I'll take 2 iced teas, please."

So I opened one eye,  and looked at my girl, who was looking at me like, "Are you dumb as dirt or just have a hearing problem?"

I just laid there for a second, and thought about it as I was coming out of my sleepy stupor...and realized she was scripting.

I learned the hard way what scripting is - and in Taylor's case, it is talking to you and you think she's conversing with you, but her end of the conversation is right out of a movie.

When she was 4, one night she woke up whining that her leg hurt.  "I have to go to the bathroom...my leg hurts..." so in the middle of the night there I was, massaging her legs wondering if it was growing pains.  I gave her Tylenol, gave her a bath.  She finally fell back to sleep.

The next day, she starts in again with the bathroom and leg thing.  I say to Kevin "I'm going to have to take her to the doctor I guess, I don't know what's wrong with her..." and Bailey says, "that's from the Up movie Mommy."

What?

So from then on, I had to listen carefully and many times ask Bailey, if Taylor's words were her own or from a movie.  Her pre-k teacher (special ed, so of course she had seen this and understood) told me it is sometimes a way for a child to engage without totally engaging, or they just love that part of a movie, or they need control of a conversation...many reasons.

Regardless, it has made life more interesting.  Many times, more frustrating as I try to get Taylor to talk to me, not repeat something she's seen or heard - and she likes me to play whatever the part is too ("Mommy, say this - SAY IT!!!!!") and insert complete breakdown here.

But as she gets older, it has gotten better.  She doesn't do it as often, and sometimes she's easily talked out of it.  Once in awhile, I play into it, as I would if she was a neurotypical child who's just playing and pretending.  The difference is, if she's doing it out of stress or just play.

This morning, after I figured out where little girlfriend was coming from, I went ahead and got her some "iced tea."  And the kiss she gave me - and I believe it was from Taylor herself and not part of a movie - was so good that I decided to stay up and not go back to bed, and I cuddled with my girls.

it's my 50 cent

So today as I was out running errands, my stomach started growling and I looked at the clock - 2pm.  I wasn't done my errands but I wanted to get something to eat, so I ran into a McDonald's I was about to pass.

Yes, there was also a supermarket close by where I could have gotten fruit, or a salad.  Yes, I just saw the link that's been going around facebook that appears to be some kind of McDonald's legal disclosure about their food basically killing you, or at least rendering you infertile.

But in my defense, I haven't eaten McDonald's in months, and I wasn't going to eat my burger's bun...doesn't that count?  Milk not soda, small not a large fry?  And I parked and walked in, instead of the drive-thru, see?

I'm all about health.

That and the drive-thru line was packed.  Perhaps I'm not the only one forgetting their new year's resolutions already.

So I get in line and my cashier is a middle aged man who wishes he was ANYWHERE but there.  I had sympathy for him and I would have smiled, had he looked at me at all. He takes my order efficiently, which was a Mighty Kids double cheeseburger meal, and asked if I wanted a boy or girl toy (which I will save as a treat to give to Bailey next time we go to CHOP).  He looks disdainfully at the $1off coupon I present him, but completes my transaction.  He hands me my order and says, "Here - your 6pc nuggets."

"Um, sir, I ordered the double cheeseburger meal."

"No you didn't, you wanted nuggets."

"No, thank you though, but I wanted the double cheeseburger."

At this point, I notice the lady that is standing to the side waiting for her 10 pc nuggets and large fish filet meal, looks at me like, "what's your problem, take the nuggets!"  I thought she and I could have been friends bc I was impressed with her order, but no, it looks like she has issues.

So the guy huffily turns around to get my burger, and as he's doing that I notice that I was charged for the nuggets, which cost 50 cents more than the burger.

I want my 50 cents back.  What good is 50 cents you say?  Well, on it's own it won't buy much these days, but that's not the point.  It's mine and I want it.

So he hands me my kids meal, expecting to be done with me, and I said, "um, excuse me sir but I was charged for the nuggets which are more, so can I please have the difference back."

Do you hear my 'sir' and 'please' - I knew I was a pain, but I wanted to be nice about it.

I am all about manners.

He looks at the menu board, searching for the kids meals.  Then he starts huffing, and puffing, (and I'm not kidding, he totally wanted me to know how annoying I was) as he starts playing with the cash register trying to figure out a refund.  He gave me my change, and I thanked him, smiled at the lady who could have been my friend, and left.

And then ate my bunless burger, fries and milk in the parking lot.  It was really good.

So what's my point?  Friends, if you work for your money, and most everyone does, KEEP IT!  That's the point of couponing, shopping with sales, budgeting, etc.  Why pay more money for something than you have to?

Of course, it would have been cheaper for me to run in the wawa for a banana, but that's neither here nor there. :)