Monday, January 16, 2012

pat your back

So, I have learned in these past several years, that if you are a Mama, you have guilt.  Mine started when I was newly pregnant.  I realized, counting on my fingers one morning, that I was *late.*  So I dug out a pregnancy test from the closet that I had received in a shower gift, and took it.  I needed to start getting ready for work, so I jumped in the shower, leaving the test on the bathroom counter.  I truly didn't expect it to be positive, it really was just for my peace of mind that I was just late out of stress or the cold I had just had.

Mid-shower I peeked at the test.  2 lines and they weren't light.  Glaring was more like it.  I took it in my hand, and was just shocked looking at it - and then I slipped in the shower.  Fell right on my heiney, the water falling on me...and was immediately guilty!  Pregnant?!  And I fell already!!!  Oh my gosh, and the cold medicine I took last week!!  I haven't been taking folic acid...I haven't been taking any vitamins at all!!

You get my drift?  How often a day do we berate ourselves as mommies?  When we let our kid eat a bag of fruitsnacks, and don't insist they finish their soup.  And when I say soup, I mean the canned stuff, so we feel guilty about that too.  How about when we snap at our little angel to HURRY-UP-AND-GET-DRESSED knowing full well that if we had gotten out of bed earlier than little angel, we could help him/her better and possibly make it through the morning without rushing.  We feel guilty letting them watch another 1/2 hour of tv...make that an hour.  We feel guilty every.single.time we compare our weaknesses to another mommy's strengths.  Sure, another mommy may handmake their child's babyfood, blankets, and have scrapbooks that should be showcased in a magazine...but perhaps they sacrifice time with their child to accomplish those things.  Perhaps your strength isn't handmaking a blessed thing, but you love playing football with your kid outside for hours.

Wait...I don't do either of those things...

But my point is, I do have strengths as a mother.  Plenty of weaknesses that yes, sometimes the guilt can be suffocating!  I am trying to get away from that.  I am trying to remember that God made me a certain way, and I would make much better use of my time using the gifts He gave me to the best of my ability, than to wish for other gifts and abilities that don't come naturally to me.  I don't think it's wrong to try to do something that isn't your "gift" - like learning how to sew even if you seem to be all thumbs.  But when you do so only out of guilt, or to measure up to someone else, it's not going to go well.

So what are your strengths as a mother?  Take some time today to think about it, and give yourself a nice pat on the back.

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