I look like my dad. And some of my personality traits come straight from him - his bloodline or from just spending 19 years with him. For years I didn't want to be like him, to tell the truth. He had a temper, his expectations of people were very high, and he was a genius, which I saw as a flaw. Among other things, I would say. Suffice it to say, I am no genius, so phew I guess. But like him, I do have a temper and my expectations of others is high. Over the years I have tried to quell my temper, and I do feel my anger pales greatly in comparison to his, thankfully. My expectations have also faded over the years...if anything, it is me that I expect a lot from. I grasped onto what I felt were his shining qualities - his generosity and affinity for all things water - and hoped those traits would overshadow the less favorable ones. I am still working on the generosity, but since I have raised two fish as daughters who LOVE the water, I feel good about that one.
I never felt like I was much like my mom. I didn't look like her, and didn't act like her.
So I thought.
Now, let me lead by saying my mom means the world to me. I adore her. Before I had children, I felt that if something happened to her before I was old and gray myself with a foot in the loony door, I would want to go down with her. I thought I couldn't face life without my "Ma". Now I know it would be one of the great sadnesses of my life, but I will go on. My mom is going on 70 years old. 70 used to be "old" to me. Not anymore. My mom went on rides today at Ocean City! That is not something an old person does.
Anyway, as I have aged myself, and because I am a mother, I have seen some similarities rise to the surface. Some are intentional. I sing the same lullies as she did. I use her recipes to make marinara sauce and meatloaf. I buy sandals thinking, "Ma would like these."
And some similarities just show up.
My mom (Marilyn) is a Monce. What is a Monce? It's her maiden name...her parents were Verna and Albert Monce, and she is one of 9 children they had. She was in the middle of their line up of 6 girls and 3 boys. Over the years, my cousins and I have termed "Monce" as a way of describing some of the common traits the Monce siblings share. Most notably, is their interpretation of the right way to do something. Anything. From cutting produce for a crudite tray, to assembling lasagna, to arranging items on a shelf, to ironing. When I was young, my mom didn't have me help with many chores, simply because I didn't do them well enough. And when I did, she'd often redo my work.
I still fold towels COMPLETELY wrong.
Kevin has told me I can be a Monce. Although he coined it "being a Marilyn." When I watched him put together the girls trampoline, he non-politely told me to stop being a Marilyn and go away, because I was Marilyn-ing it. I really thought I was just offering helpful suggestions.
Well, I see it now. I am currently on vacation with my in-laws in Wildwood. In the downstairs floor of a house, close and cozy. My mother in law has told me she hates the noise I make when I itch my throat, and I have told her I hate the way she takes her first sip of coffee and smacks her lips. When you spend several days together, with nary an inch between you, *%$# gets real, yo.
The other morning my father in law lovingly offered to make us all scrambled eggs for breakfast. "Sure!" we said. I stood at the counter slicing bagels for the girls as he got started. I watched in horror as he put a slab of margarine in the pan, and didn't wait until it heated up before he started cracking eggs on the side of the pan and throwing them in. Then, after a few eggs, he took a spatula and mixed them all up. (Sidenote and yet completely on the subject, as he cracked the eggs, he'd throw the shells in the sink, with leftover drippy egg going all over the counter and the cream cheese that was out.)
My jaw hit the drippy-egged counter. No bowl in which to mix the eggs with a dash of milk, salt and pepper? No BUTTER in the frying pan, heating up before you pour in the already-mixed eggs? No waiting until they're set just right before gently sliding your spatula underneath to start breaking up the eggs?
And so then I said it. I Monce-ed it. I Marilyn-ed it.
"Um, Poppy, is that how you make eggs?"
"What do you mean, I'm making eggs."
"Yeah, but you are, like, scrambling them like that, no bowl..." I stammered, starting to understand that he was indeed, making eggs like "that."
And let me tell you - the eggs were pretty good!
My towels do fine folded the wrong way in a closet that no one sees. Sometimes my carrot sticks aren't of uniform cut when I arrange them on the tray...and no one cares. Unless my mom is attending that party.
So I learned something here. But that doesn't mean I won't peer over Kevin's shoulder the next time he's loading the dishwasher and ask if he intended on putting the cereal bowl on the top rack or was that an accident. Because I forgot to mention, I get my verbal impulsiveness from my dad.
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Thursday, July 11, 2013
never far
The other day I found a crinkled up piece of paper with Taylor's writing on it, and it had apparently had water spilled on it as the colors ran and were faded. I almost threw it out without reading it, but since I am "One Who Hates to Throw Out Anything My Kids Have Created That's Special and It's Almost All Special" I read it first.
Then my heart stopped and my throat caught and my knees buckled.
"Why did my baby brother die"
"When can I talk to him"
"When can I not cry"
I have already put this note in my baby box along with other items that I never really want to look at again, but can't throw away. So I forget the exact wording of her questions, but that's the gist. I am guessing these were questions to God.
All four of us mourn this baby like we actually met him or her. Kevin tears up sometimes if I bring it up, but he doesn't talk about it really. Bailey once in awhile says something like "if Baby Collin were here he'd be in a high chair now" or if Baby Collin were here I'd hold him in the pool" and it makes all of us nod and cry for a minute. Taylor and I both have grieved more outwardly, and we comfort each other. The thing that she talks about most is how much she wanted to sing "Baby Mine" for the baby, and be a big sister. I always encourage her to sing the song anyway, and she does through her tears for her brother in heaven. I remind her she is a wonderful big sister, and was right from the beginning, petting my tummy and talking to the baby. As the pregnancy went on and things were not going right, she prayed for her baby sibling.
My sweet Taylor Elise, those are my questions too baby.
Tears flow down my face as I write this. I want that baby so much I can't see straight. Something wasn't right from the start, but I saw his/her precious heartbeat and I was so comforted. I thought, ok, our little one just took his time coming around and now he'll really start growing. With the girls my HCG levels were extremely high, and I knew that my slowly climbing numbers were a bad sign. I knew it was a bad sign when I measured 7 weeks when I should have been 10. I knew I was feeling way too good, when with the girls I had been sick as a dog.
He or she had something wrong, and that baby was not meant to be with us here on Earth. But that baby was still meant to be in our lives. I don't know why. To teach us something? To soften us to loss so that we can be more sensitive to others? I like thinking of those reasons, although there are times when I wonder if he was taken because I would not have done right by him, or God knew he had something wrong and we couldn't handle it.
My girls are enjoying a great summer. I am too. But the baby that was and then wasn't, is never far from our minds.
Then my heart stopped and my throat caught and my knees buckled.
"Why did my baby brother die"
"When can I talk to him"
"When can I not cry"
I have already put this note in my baby box along with other items that I never really want to look at again, but can't throw away. So I forget the exact wording of her questions, but that's the gist. I am guessing these were questions to God.
All four of us mourn this baby like we actually met him or her. Kevin tears up sometimes if I bring it up, but he doesn't talk about it really. Bailey once in awhile says something like "if Baby Collin were here he'd be in a high chair now" or if Baby Collin were here I'd hold him in the pool" and it makes all of us nod and cry for a minute. Taylor and I both have grieved more outwardly, and we comfort each other. The thing that she talks about most is how much she wanted to sing "Baby Mine" for the baby, and be a big sister. I always encourage her to sing the song anyway, and she does through her tears for her brother in heaven. I remind her she is a wonderful big sister, and was right from the beginning, petting my tummy and talking to the baby. As the pregnancy went on and things were not going right, she prayed for her baby sibling.
My sweet Taylor Elise, those are my questions too baby.
Tears flow down my face as I write this. I want that baby so much I can't see straight. Something wasn't right from the start, but I saw his/her precious heartbeat and I was so comforted. I thought, ok, our little one just took his time coming around and now he'll really start growing. With the girls my HCG levels were extremely high, and I knew that my slowly climbing numbers were a bad sign. I knew it was a bad sign when I measured 7 weeks when I should have been 10. I knew I was feeling way too good, when with the girls I had been sick as a dog.
He or she had something wrong, and that baby was not meant to be with us here on Earth. But that baby was still meant to be in our lives. I don't know why. To teach us something? To soften us to loss so that we can be more sensitive to others? I like thinking of those reasons, although there are times when I wonder if he was taken because I would not have done right by him, or God knew he had something wrong and we couldn't handle it.
My girls are enjoying a great summer. I am too. But the baby that was and then wasn't, is never far from our minds.
Friday, June 28, 2013
so far...
So far, one week and one day into our summer vacation....
...we saw Little Mermaid at Paper Mill Playhouse - broadway quality show and the girls loved it. The first half of the show I sat next to a gun chewing heavy breather and after switching with Kevin for the second half, I sat next to a 5 year old who said every 3 minutes that this Ariel was different than the real Ariel. But she accidentally held my hand a few times so I couldn't be too disgruntled. I was reminded I have sensory issues (where on earth does Taylor get it from?!) Girls loved the evening spent with family and their fave princess. Success.
...we went to the beach. Was not without incident, including time spent with a lifeguard, and shoulder sunburns. But came home healthy and happy - success.
...went to the pool with friends and stayed until they closed. Last ones out. Success.
...I fell tripping over flip flops and beside bruising my hand and ankle, was not hurt. Could have easily "ruined" much of the summer. Success.
...powerwashed outside kid toys (and the deck which now looks streaky) that I have such sweet memories with but they have outgrown. Sold to friends and using the money to fund summer fun. Success.
...was forced to be inside during what must be record breaking rain. House has no leaks and I actually was able to vacuum...success.
...was told that I no longer have to do a case that was really stressing me out at work. Kids had mani-pedis with NanNan and saw Monsters U while I did work. Success.
...went to dinner with my mom at Outback. Delicious and I love siting across from my mom talking about stuff. Success.
...went to the lake with a friend and as I watched her chase 2 toddlers aged 2 and 1, I reflected that although I miss it, and I'd be carting around a baby this summer if I had my way, my girls are at a great age. I am still needed but not every.single.second. We came home and I ate lunch laying in bed watching Love It or List It while they played Wii. Success.
...vented to a good friend who let me go to crazy town while the girls painted with things she gave them. They didn't want to leave and neither did I. Success.
...hacked off gorgeous hydrangeas from a friend's plant and used them for centerpieces for our church's Chit Chat and Chocolate night. Poured rain but 8 people still showed!! Kept some hydrangeas for myself and added wildflowers from my own paltry garden. Success.
...playdate at a friend's house while Kevin borrowed their truck. Felt so thankful for good friends that are giving, fun, and loving. Taylor made a sign for the bedroom door that said, "No Moms Allwod....or Dads." Pizza dinner, came home for showers and playing "wishy wipers" when Kevin and I take their hands and feet and swing them onto the couch. Intense laughter, so much so it scared the cat. Success.
I am hoping YOUR summer so far is a success!!! YES we have also had blood (literally), sweat (profusely) and tears (is it possible for children to go a day without whining or crying...or just my children?!)...but as I lay my head on the pillow I am so grateful for this Fun Summer!! They will only be these ages once!
...we saw Little Mermaid at Paper Mill Playhouse - broadway quality show and the girls loved it. The first half of the show I sat next to a gun chewing heavy breather and after switching with Kevin for the second half, I sat next to a 5 year old who said every 3 minutes that this Ariel was different than the real Ariel. But she accidentally held my hand a few times so I couldn't be too disgruntled. I was reminded I have sensory issues (where on earth does Taylor get it from?!) Girls loved the evening spent with family and their fave princess. Success.
...we went to the beach. Was not without incident, including time spent with a lifeguard, and shoulder sunburns. But came home healthy and happy - success.
...went to the pool with friends and stayed until they closed. Last ones out. Success.
...I fell tripping over flip flops and beside bruising my hand and ankle, was not hurt. Could have easily "ruined" much of the summer. Success.
...powerwashed outside kid toys (and the deck which now looks streaky) that I have such sweet memories with but they have outgrown. Sold to friends and using the money to fund summer fun. Success.
...was forced to be inside during what must be record breaking rain. House has no leaks and I actually was able to vacuum...success.
...was told that I no longer have to do a case that was really stressing me out at work. Kids had mani-pedis with NanNan and saw Monsters U while I did work. Success.
...went to dinner with my mom at Outback. Delicious and I love siting across from my mom talking about stuff. Success.
...went to the lake with a friend and as I watched her chase 2 toddlers aged 2 and 1, I reflected that although I miss it, and I'd be carting around a baby this summer if I had my way, my girls are at a great age. I am still needed but not every.single.second. We came home and I ate lunch laying in bed watching Love It or List It while they played Wii. Success.
...vented to a good friend who let me go to crazy town while the girls painted with things she gave them. They didn't want to leave and neither did I. Success.
...hacked off gorgeous hydrangeas from a friend's plant and used them for centerpieces for our church's Chit Chat and Chocolate night. Poured rain but 8 people still showed!! Kept some hydrangeas for myself and added wildflowers from my own paltry garden. Success.
...playdate at a friend's house while Kevin borrowed their truck. Felt so thankful for good friends that are giving, fun, and loving. Taylor made a sign for the bedroom door that said, "No Moms Allwod....or Dads." Pizza dinner, came home for showers and playing "wishy wipers" when Kevin and I take their hands and feet and swing them onto the couch. Intense laughter, so much so it scared the cat. Success.
I am hoping YOUR summer so far is a success!!! YES we have also had blood (literally), sweat (profusely) and tears (is it possible for children to go a day without whining or crying...or just my children?!)...but as I lay my head on the pillow I am so grateful for this Fun Summer!! They will only be these ages once!
Thursday, June 20, 2013
summer to do list
Figured I might as well type it up here, to remind me of our - my - goals this summer. I say my and not ours because if I let my girls know of these goals they'll only ask me 1000 times an hour why we're not accomplishing one of them if in fact I have said Screw It and turned on a movie in the air conditioning.
*Swim. A lot. Beach and pool. Go at times with just girls alone to force quality time with mama.
*Boardwalk.
*Visit one place to actually learn something. Art museum perhaps.
*Schedule one playdate a week with a school friend. Church friend playdates happen all summer thankfully, and bonus I feel more comfy in my swimsuit with church friends. They know if they judge me they'll go straight to hell so they try harder not to wonder why I haven't gotten a handle on my ass. Kidding, a little.
*Paint their bookcases and add their painted handprints in a corner. I have wanted to do this project since they were little, these are in their rooms and my dad made them when I was young. I have only wanted to do this project for several years. Their hands are now humongous.
*Adding to the "I have wanted to do this project for several years" category - finish filing important papers to my In Case I Croak and Kevin Has To Handle the Bills and All That Important Shit binder / catch up on picture albums / organize and save girls artwork from this past year. I plan to accomplish these things while the girls are at VBS in the mornings for a week. The chance of this happening versus running errands, doing chores or perusing blogs while having coffee? Nil.
*Catch up on the latest technology. The girls have Ipods and would L.O.V.E to text each other but I don't know how to set it up. True story.
*Learn a few Bible verses. The one about honoring your parents seems good, I'll start with that.
*Have Cheap Mom Salon night to do mani-pedis
*Live through it. Without my kids having more fodder for their future years in therapy. Like "I remember one time, after 2 months full of playdates and fun, Mom was looking haggard but she was still mobile. It was 100 degrees outside and I asked her if we could go to the playground with no shade and she lost it and started crying and screaming and asking why we want to hurt her...I was confused, all I wanted was to get there and realize the slide was 1000 degrees and start whining and bitching and then demand to go to Chick Fil A. I don't get it, what was her problem?" Their therapist, a younger adult who has not yet had children home for a summer, will respond with, "She sounds awful, how did you manage?"
These are my simple yet mostly unattainable goals for summer.
*Swim. A lot. Beach and pool. Go at times with just girls alone to force quality time with mama.
*Boardwalk.
*Visit one place to actually learn something. Art museum perhaps.
*Schedule one playdate a week with a school friend. Church friend playdates happen all summer thankfully, and bonus I feel more comfy in my swimsuit with church friends. They know if they judge me they'll go straight to hell so they try harder not to wonder why I haven't gotten a handle on my ass. Kidding, a little.
*Paint their bookcases and add their painted handprints in a corner. I have wanted to do this project since they were little, these are in their rooms and my dad made them when I was young. I have only wanted to do this project for several years. Their hands are now humongous.
*Adding to the "I have wanted to do this project for several years" category - finish filing important papers to my In Case I Croak and Kevin Has To Handle the Bills and All That Important Shit binder / catch up on picture albums / organize and save girls artwork from this past year. I plan to accomplish these things while the girls are at VBS in the mornings for a week. The chance of this happening versus running errands, doing chores or perusing blogs while having coffee? Nil.
*Catch up on the latest technology. The girls have Ipods and would L.O.V.E to text each other but I don't know how to set it up. True story.
 |
| Seriously Mom what am I supposed to do here?! You still haven't set up texting on my Ipod? How am I supposed to ask my sister stuff, who's sitting right next to me? How???!!! |
*Learn a few Bible verses. The one about honoring your parents seems good, I'll start with that.
*Have Cheap Mom Salon night to do mani-pedis
*Live through it. Without my kids having more fodder for their future years in therapy. Like "I remember one time, after 2 months full of playdates and fun, Mom was looking haggard but she was still mobile. It was 100 degrees outside and I asked her if we could go to the playground with no shade and she lost it and started crying and screaming and asking why we want to hurt her...I was confused, all I wanted was to get there and realize the slide was 1000 degrees and start whining and bitching and then demand to go to Chick Fil A. I don't get it, what was her problem?" Their therapist, a younger adult who has not yet had children home for a summer, will respond with, "She sounds awful, how did you manage?"
These are my simple yet mostly unattainable goals for summer.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
haze
You know it's been too long since you've blogged when you have to sign in to write a post. Sigh.
I guess I have not been very motivated to write. I have felt a cloud of depression hanging over me...not surrounding me so that I can not see through it's haze, but way up there where I can see it, and it follows me as I walk. I have had a lot of joy, but these moments of deep sadness. Most of it about the baby we lost, I miss him all the time, but other things too. Can't put my finger on the reasons, just a way of being here and there.
Does that make any sense?
Well, as of tomorrow afternoon it is summertime here. Girls will get off the bus at 1:15pm and will be mine until September 9. Our first full day off will be fun, as they don't know it but we're going to see Little Mermaid at Paper Mill Playhouse. My in-laws are treating, it is my father-in-law's birthday. I also am looking forward to giving him his gift - something he really wanted but I told him I probably could not get. He will be surprised and so happy! He is a good father. I miss my own dad, especially in the summer as that was when he was happiest, with our pool and the beach, but Kevin's dad is a good man. When I was engaged to Kevin I remember thinking what a wise choice I was making. If Kevin grew into the man his father was - loving to his wife after decades of marriage, a fun dad, a strong provider, a faith-filled man...I was good to go.
That was an unexpected side conversation. This is how I talk in real life, when I can't edit myself and move sentences around.
Next time I write I will have more focus, more to say...but as I sit here in the hour before I have to leave for my girls' class parties, I feel kind of ugh. Isn't that a feeling?
Ugh.
I guess I have not been very motivated to write. I have felt a cloud of depression hanging over me...not surrounding me so that I can not see through it's haze, but way up there where I can see it, and it follows me as I walk. I have had a lot of joy, but these moments of deep sadness. Most of it about the baby we lost, I miss him all the time, but other things too. Can't put my finger on the reasons, just a way of being here and there.
Does that make any sense?
Well, as of tomorrow afternoon it is summertime here. Girls will get off the bus at 1:15pm and will be mine until September 9. Our first full day off will be fun, as they don't know it but we're going to see Little Mermaid at Paper Mill Playhouse. My in-laws are treating, it is my father-in-law's birthday. I also am looking forward to giving him his gift - something he really wanted but I told him I probably could not get. He will be surprised and so happy! He is a good father. I miss my own dad, especially in the summer as that was when he was happiest, with our pool and the beach, but Kevin's dad is a good man. When I was engaged to Kevin I remember thinking what a wise choice I was making. If Kevin grew into the man his father was - loving to his wife after decades of marriage, a fun dad, a strong provider, a faith-filled man...I was good to go.
That was an unexpected side conversation. This is how I talk in real life, when I can't edit myself and move sentences around.
Next time I write I will have more focus, more to say...but as I sit here in the hour before I have to leave for my girls' class parties, I feel kind of ugh. Isn't that a feeling?
Ugh.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
cheap eats
Ok so it's been awhile since I've blogged about saving money, notably through couponing. Probably because since starting my part time social work job a year ago, I just don't have as much time. I used to coupon while I babysat my little fella - while he napped of course, but I don't sit for him anymore (boo) so I'm not as disciplined carving out that time to coupon at home. Because when I'm at home alone I peruse facebook. I clean and cook. And cook and clean. And go through things to sell that my kids have outgrown but then think better of it and hide it in the back of the closet.
Anyway.
That's not to say I'm not still trying to save money. I gotta. So I cut a few coupons for items that I know always have them available (General Mills Cereals, yogurt, hygiene items, to name a few) and regardless of whether or not I have coupons I ALWAYS look through the circulars. I don't shop for only what I need for that particular week. Yes I always need produce, eggs, bread, milk, etc. But I always have my eye out for a great deal on things we consistently go through and then I stock up so I don't need it for awhile.
I have a cousin that has $20 to spend this week for food and she is discouraged. And rightfully so - that is a tight budget with 2 children at home full time. But I think she can do it and here is my idea how.
This would be easier if I knew she had some pantry staples like dry pasta, rice, bread, etc. But I'll assume she has nothing just in case.
With a $20 budget you can buy -
Gallon of whole milk $3.50 - pour some out for you and your husband into a pitcher and thin with water to make skim milk and keep the rest whole for your kids. This will increase your milk.
Eggs $2.00 (or $2 worth of fruit or frozen veggies if you aren't egg eaters)
Chicken sale pieces $3.50
*Bread $1.00
Peanut butter $2.50
*Jelly $1.00
*Bag of crunchy pretzels $1.00 (or similar snack for kids)
Pasta x2 $1.50
*Sauce $1.00
*Oatmeal $1.00
*Cereal $1.00
*Bag of rice $1.00 (or a $1.00 worth of potatoes from store)
TOTAL - $20 (that's how fast $20 goes!)
If you DO have some items in the pantry like pasta, oatmeal, sauce, rice, etc -- I would use that money then to buy a big jar of applesauce, bag of carrots, a few apples and maybe a fruit that's on sale that the kids love.
* - Buy these items at the dollar store
Breakfast and Lunch Ideas
Cereal
Eggs/toast
Oatmeal
Peanut butter and jelly sammies
Egg salad sammies
Leftovers by the end of week
Dinners
Pasta x2
Chicken boiled to get every last scrap of meat off so you can make 2 meals from it. Serve with rice or potatoes. Better if you do in fact have a few pantry items like bbq sauce to flavor the chicken.
Hot peanut butter sammies with milk
Breakfast for dinner with whatever leftover breakfast items you have by the end of the week
YES this is a boring menu. YES this is very unappetizing.
But when times are tight, you make due. It will hurt when your kids beg for Goldfish and you can't spend the $2. But this doesn't mean you're poor or broke. This is a season of frugalness. A season when you need to pinch your pennies. But every day that you can look at your babies beautiful faces under a roof where there is love, and put food in their tummies even if yours is rumbling a bit...you are blessed. I am not making light of your situation, it is so hard!!! We had weeks when my kids were really young, before Kevin changed jobs, that it actually hurt me to tell Kevin we were having pasta or eggs again. I felt like I was letting him down. But in actuality, I was holding up my end of the bargain - to stay home and keep my kids safe, especially our little Bailey who has CF and when she was young we were petrified of her getting sick. She didn't catch a cold for two years! I held up my end. We didn't go into debt having food - or furniture! - we couldn't afford. I held up my end. I taught them their ABC's and 123's while also keeping myself out of the loony bin...I held up my end. AND SO ARE YOU. AND SO IS YOUR HUSBAND. Life is hard. Maintaining a family and a home is hard. Soak up what's easy. Lovin on your babies. Praying to God for His help. Sometimes we were blessed in our grocery budget by being invited to dinner by my inlaws or a playdate with friends where my kids enjoyed some fun snacks. Keep your eye out for opportunities that are free and fun, to enjoy and take your mind off what's hard.
Staying home with littles is a season. It's not forever. You can take that $20 this week and spend it quickly, and I get that you will still be stressed and wished you had 5x that much to spend (and it would still go quickly!). But just try really hard to enjoy whatever is good and true in your life, and know that someday you will have that $100 to spend, and it will feel good but knowing you made the right choices for your family since the time they were littles...feels better.
Good luck!
Anyway.
That's not to say I'm not still trying to save money. I gotta. So I cut a few coupons for items that I know always have them available (General Mills Cereals, yogurt, hygiene items, to name a few) and regardless of whether or not I have coupons I ALWAYS look through the circulars. I don't shop for only what I need for that particular week. Yes I always need produce, eggs, bread, milk, etc. But I always have my eye out for a great deal on things we consistently go through and then I stock up so I don't need it for awhile.
I have a cousin that has $20 to spend this week for food and she is discouraged. And rightfully so - that is a tight budget with 2 children at home full time. But I think she can do it and here is my idea how.
This would be easier if I knew she had some pantry staples like dry pasta, rice, bread, etc. But I'll assume she has nothing just in case.
With a $20 budget you can buy -
Gallon of whole milk $3.50 - pour some out for you and your husband into a pitcher and thin with water to make skim milk and keep the rest whole for your kids. This will increase your milk.
Eggs $2.00 (or $2 worth of fruit or frozen veggies if you aren't egg eaters)
Chicken sale pieces $3.50
*Bread $1.00
Peanut butter $2.50
*Jelly $1.00
*Bag of crunchy pretzels $1.00 (or similar snack for kids)
Pasta x2 $1.50
*Sauce $1.00
*Oatmeal $1.00
*Cereal $1.00
*Bag of rice $1.00 (or a $1.00 worth of potatoes from store)
TOTAL - $20 (that's how fast $20 goes!)
If you DO have some items in the pantry like pasta, oatmeal, sauce, rice, etc -- I would use that money then to buy a big jar of applesauce, bag of carrots, a few apples and maybe a fruit that's on sale that the kids love.
* - Buy these items at the dollar store
Breakfast and Lunch Ideas
Cereal
Eggs/toast
Oatmeal
Peanut butter and jelly sammies
Egg salad sammies
Leftovers by the end of week
Dinners
Pasta x2
Chicken boiled to get every last scrap of meat off so you can make 2 meals from it. Serve with rice or potatoes. Better if you do in fact have a few pantry items like bbq sauce to flavor the chicken.
Hot peanut butter sammies with milk
Breakfast for dinner with whatever leftover breakfast items you have by the end of the week
YES this is a boring menu. YES this is very unappetizing.
But when times are tight, you make due. It will hurt when your kids beg for Goldfish and you can't spend the $2. But this doesn't mean you're poor or broke. This is a season of frugalness. A season when you need to pinch your pennies. But every day that you can look at your babies beautiful faces under a roof where there is love, and put food in their tummies even if yours is rumbling a bit...you are blessed. I am not making light of your situation, it is so hard!!! We had weeks when my kids were really young, before Kevin changed jobs, that it actually hurt me to tell Kevin we were having pasta or eggs again. I felt like I was letting him down. But in actuality, I was holding up my end of the bargain - to stay home and keep my kids safe, especially our little Bailey who has CF and when she was young we were petrified of her getting sick. She didn't catch a cold for two years! I held up my end. We didn't go into debt having food - or furniture! - we couldn't afford. I held up my end. I taught them their ABC's and 123's while also keeping myself out of the loony bin...I held up my end. AND SO ARE YOU. AND SO IS YOUR HUSBAND. Life is hard. Maintaining a family and a home is hard. Soak up what's easy. Lovin on your babies. Praying to God for His help. Sometimes we were blessed in our grocery budget by being invited to dinner by my inlaws or a playdate with friends where my kids enjoyed some fun snacks. Keep your eye out for opportunities that are free and fun, to enjoy and take your mind off what's hard.
Staying home with littles is a season. It's not forever. You can take that $20 this week and spend it quickly, and I get that you will still be stressed and wished you had 5x that much to spend (and it would still go quickly!). But just try really hard to enjoy whatever is good and true in your life, and know that someday you will have that $100 to spend, and it will feel good but knowing you made the right choices for your family since the time they were littles...feels better.
Good luck!
Friday, May 24, 2013
what, you don't do that too?
A few days ago I tucked my tweezers into my purse. My magnifying mirror broke, and I know there are errant hairs on my face that I have missed when plucking using my regular mirror. Hairs that might poke someone's eye out.
Yes, I am confessing here I have a beard. It's not a Santa beard, but some of the hairs are white, some are black as coal, and they all protrude from my chin. And neck.
I'll never forget the day I first saw ChinHair. I was attending a wedding, and our room was right on the ocean. The light was streaming in as we got ready. I decided to use the handheld mirror I had in my purse that had suction cups on the back, and affix it to the sliding door to utilize the good lighting for my makeup. That's when I saw them.
I think I screamed out loud. Then cried. Then wondered WHO had been staring at my face all those times standing outside talking to someone in the bright sun.
I went on a pluck binge, right then and there. And daily, since that day, I have plucked hairs out of my face. At one point I went to a dermatologist who told me she didn't really see the problem. I said it's because I pluck everyday, I can't go around in public with a chin and neck full of scragglepop hairs! She told me about some expensive options and then said tweezers cost just a few bucks but to be careful, it can damage the skin. Yeah well, not plucking could damage my social life.
Anyway, the other day I carried tweezers with me in the car, knowing that there is good visibility with the afternoon sun and my visor mirror. I had planned to find a spot somewhere while the kids were at art class, where no one could see, and go to plucktown. I forgot though, until I was back home. So there in the driveway, with the door open because it was hot, I started my work. I was concentrating, I was busy.
I have neighbors. And there were joggers. The late bus came. I ignored all of it, and kept at my work.
So yes, I am sure someone saw the lady in what looked to be pjs (it's "loungewear" people, and I wear them everywhere I can) plucking her face using the car mirror.
It had to be done and I don't need more friends. I need the ones I have, who have had conversations with me and ChinHair at the beach in the bright sun, and love me anyway.
But I am going to Target this weekend to replace my mirror.
Yes, I am confessing here I have a beard. It's not a Santa beard, but some of the hairs are white, some are black as coal, and they all protrude from my chin. And neck.
I'll never forget the day I first saw ChinHair. I was attending a wedding, and our room was right on the ocean. The light was streaming in as we got ready. I decided to use the handheld mirror I had in my purse that had suction cups on the back, and affix it to the sliding door to utilize the good lighting for my makeup. That's when I saw them.
I think I screamed out loud. Then cried. Then wondered WHO had been staring at my face all those times standing outside talking to someone in the bright sun.
I went on a pluck binge, right then and there. And daily, since that day, I have plucked hairs out of my face. At one point I went to a dermatologist who told me she didn't really see the problem. I said it's because I pluck everyday, I can't go around in public with a chin and neck full of scragglepop hairs! She told me about some expensive options and then said tweezers cost just a few bucks but to be careful, it can damage the skin. Yeah well, not plucking could damage my social life.
Anyway, the other day I carried tweezers with me in the car, knowing that there is good visibility with the afternoon sun and my visor mirror. I had planned to find a spot somewhere while the kids were at art class, where no one could see, and go to plucktown. I forgot though, until I was back home. So there in the driveway, with the door open because it was hot, I started my work. I was concentrating, I was busy.
I have neighbors. And there were joggers. The late bus came. I ignored all of it, and kept at my work.
So yes, I am sure someone saw the lady in what looked to be pjs (it's "loungewear" people, and I wear them everywhere I can) plucking her face using the car mirror.
It had to be done and I don't need more friends. I need the ones I have, who have had conversations with me and ChinHair at the beach in the bright sun, and love me anyway.
But I am going to Target this weekend to replace my mirror.
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