Friday, January 21, 2011

update on the Taters

I have been thinking a lot about Taylor's recent diagnosis of PDD-NOS on the (deep breath here) autism spectrum.  I wrote her teacher a lengthy note about how it went at the Dr's and she replied that she was very surprised.  She thinks Taylor's needs are rooted in sensory issues, her language is still developing and she does still need help with socialization.  But she said she has made tremendous progress, her academics are above age level, and she doesn't want her held back from her potential.  I am inquiring today about an inclusion class - I know they have it for preschool but I am unsure if they do for kindergarten.  One of the main differences between "regular" and "special ed" kindergarten is that regular is 1/2 day, only 2 1/2 hrs.  The special ed is full day - 9 - 3:20.  What a difference and I can't decide which would help T. more.  I know that selfishly, I can't even think about her being gone all day yet.  Bailey just started full day this year for 1st grade and to say I went through a crying jag is an understatement.  I even had a nightmare that she was eating lunch all by herself.  Needless to say, she is thriving.  There are still days though that I do miss her, and I do like days off and snow days.  Winter break was a bit long though, by the end of it I was ready to throw her little heiney back on the bus and wave good-bye with a big grin on my face. 

This summer it will be 8 years that I have been a stay-at-home mom.  I've earned some spending money working for our church nursery, but really I have not had a job in that time.  God has truly blessed us, as on paper we could NOT afford me to stay home.  I always wanted to be home, and Kevin agreed.  At first, we took it month by month and every time our month's bills were paid, we thought - we did it, another month!  We bought a house on a wing and a prayer - and although the carpet STILL needs replacing, 1/2 our kitchen cabinets are literally falling apart and our front "yard" has no grass...I am grateful we are here.  I could not have imagined putting our babies in daycare and we had no one to watch them.  Even if we had, I'm too jealous of a person to have their grandma see their "firsts" instead of me.  Bailey having CF and then Taylor...being Taylor...I could not have imagined them in a daycare all day.  Bailey would have gotten very sick and Taylor probably would've been kicked out.  There are families that have no choice, and my heart BREAKS for them if they want to be home.  I am just grateful that God honored our desire for me to be home.  It wasn't easy let me tell you -- working moms and SAHMs have their different share of difficulties.

I am writing about this because if T is in full day school in the fall, that opens my schedule up to either get a job or go back to school.  It's exciting and yet nerve-racking to think about.

On a different note, I am really excited because my in-laws are taking the girls overnight next Sat night and Kevin and I decided to go away for a night.  Somewhere cheap, somewhere close but away.  We haven't been in several months and we try to go a few times a year - it's good for us.  There's a reason why parents of special needs kids have a high rate of divorce - it's very stressful and can be very financially straining.  I view our children as having mild special needs, depending on the day, but it has opened my eyes to the kind of strain it can put on a marriage.  Kevin and I have a few things going for us - most notably, our faith in God and church community.  Also, we try to laugh and stay positive - easier for Kev than me but we do enjoy the lighter side of things.  And we like to go away and pretend we're still young and unhindered.  I'm so excited for next Saturday!!!

1 comment:

  1. I know from experience that having special needs kids puts a strain on a marriage and finances. I work graveyard shift right now so that we do not need childcare and that I am always here for whatever. Full day school helped Henry in my opinion. Kids in the spectrum thrive on structure and routine and that is what school provides. Henry is soo much better while at school then at home and he was able to get all the necessary help there. I know youwill make the right decision, but I wanted to lend my opinion. Keep it up. Jen