Since 2007 I have been working on a Mother's Journal for my girls. It is a book that has 12 chapters in it, labeled as the months of the year, and each chapter has several questions. The mom writes her answers and it's meant to be something that her children could someday read. Some are poignant, like "Tell me (meaning the child to whom you are writing) about the day I was born" and some are random, like "What is your favorite holiday tradition?" I have answered questions here and there...like if the kids were playing in the ChickFilA play area, I would do a few so I didn't pass out from boredom. But it has taken me over 4 years to complete it -- a few days ago I answered the last question. I am so happy to have done it, as I would have loved something like that from my own mom or grandma. A few of the questions were really hard to answer, I saved them for last :) I also had the girls answer a questionnaire I wrote (future blog post about that) and I enclosed that in there, along with a few of their drawings to me, too.
Not only am I pleased it is done, I am pleased I actually fulfilled a goal through to completion. So often I flit from this to that, leaving things 1/2 done. As I write this, the laundry is 1/2 done, the bed is 1/2 made, 1/2 the plants watered. I just get distracted - or bored - so easily, that I leave what I am doing for later. I do the same with my bigger goals...and I really want to work on that. It feels awesome to finish something!!
So for the summer I have decided that I need to block off weeks at a time to work towards specific goals. In July I want to spend 2 weeks organizing, labeling and albuming my thousands of pictures I am behind on. Yes I am totally old school and I get all my pics developed and then I put them in those slip-in memo albums. Someday we will have to buy a shed to live in out back, because the kids art creations and these picture albums will overtake my house. Anyway, also for July I need to organize my paperwork. Receipts, bills, insurance statements, etc etc etc...ugh I dread it. I am planning on paying the children to shred a million pieces of paper. I will give them each $5, and they will think they won the lottery. I never pay that much.
August will be MOPS planning and back to school stuff like organizing closets, shopping. September will be checking myself into the loony bin once Tate starts full time school. Ok kidding but not really. September will also be CF walk fundraising work.
It feels more manageable breaking my goals up into blocks of time, we'll see if my ADD can take it.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
Suck it in and stick it out
It's happened just as I expected it would...swimsuit season is here. I'm knee deep in it. I have not enjoyed the look of myself in a suit...well, ever. That feeling has magnified - along with the size of my ass - over the years. But when I had children I swore I would ditch my issues and get in a suit bc I wanted them to love the water. I really love swimming - ocean, pool, waterpark, lake whatever. I just hate being so vulnerable in something that is but a few yards of fabric over my stretched-marked birthday suit.
Every year at the end of swim season I breath a sigh of relief and then promise myself that next season, I'll have lost tons of weight and won't mind parading myself around at the pool. It sucks when you promise yourself something and don't deliver. But I have to remind myself, that if I was talking to my daughters, or a friend, about how they feel like something like this, I would encourage and not want them to berate themselves so. I should treat myself as I would treat others, no?
So today at the pool, I really enjoyed playing with my girls. We were there for hours, and swam, jumped, tagged...it was a blast. I would have missed out on it if I was sitting in a chair. Walking by the few moms I know from the neighborhood wasn't my favorite part of the day...but I sucked it in, pulled my skirt down a bit (are you picturing it? yes, it's a bathing suit like your grammy has) and held my head high. I may not be the prettiest or thinnest, but my kids had fun with me.
I'm glad I'm sticking to at least one of my promises - wearing a bathing suit. Perhaps one of these days I'll stick to the other, and enjoy a swim season without the stress of wondering how many ripples of thigh cellulite there are peeking out from my skirt.
Every year at the end of swim season I breath a sigh of relief and then promise myself that next season, I'll have lost tons of weight and won't mind parading myself around at the pool. It sucks when you promise yourself something and don't deliver. But I have to remind myself, that if I was talking to my daughters, or a friend, about how they feel like something like this, I would encourage and not want them to berate themselves so. I should treat myself as I would treat others, no?
So today at the pool, I really enjoyed playing with my girls. We were there for hours, and swam, jumped, tagged...it was a blast. I would have missed out on it if I was sitting in a chair. Walking by the few moms I know from the neighborhood wasn't my favorite part of the day...but I sucked it in, pulled my skirt down a bit (are you picturing it? yes, it's a bathing suit like your grammy has) and held my head high. I may not be the prettiest or thinnest, but my kids had fun with me.
I'm glad I'm sticking to at least one of my promises - wearing a bathing suit. Perhaps one of these days I'll stick to the other, and enjoy a swim season without the stress of wondering how many ripples of thigh cellulite there are peeking out from my skirt.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Summer goals
These are a few of the things I want to do this summer:
*Catch up on my picture albums and labeling
*Make my mom a scrapbook of her wedding and honeymoon
*Sell the TUMI $500 giftcard we've had for over a year that we'll never use.
*Finish the couponing class business plan
*MOPS planning for 2011-2012 year. Retreat in August.
*Touch up paint on baseboards/doors
*Clean out my closet and underbed
*Set up a scrapbooking station in the garage
Not to mention enjoy the girls and do lots and lots of fun stuff :)
*Catch up on my picture albums and labeling
*Make my mom a scrapbook of her wedding and honeymoon
*Sell the TUMI $500 giftcard we've had for over a year that we'll never use.
*Finish the couponing class business plan
*MOPS planning for 2011-2012 year. Retreat in August.
*Touch up paint on baseboards/doors
*Clean out my closet and underbed
*Set up a scrapbooking station in the garage
Not to mention enjoy the girls and do lots and lots of fun stuff :)
Bad attitude
I am in a bad mood. The top 5 reasons for my bad mood are -
*The children have really greasy hair bc my dear FIL was the one who gave them their bath after the pool last night. I'm not sure where it went wrong, but their locks are seriously sad. I don't know why it's bothering me, but it is.
*I checked my credit card activity and it depressed the *#%! out of me. And now today Kevin's car is going in for the brakes...so this next bill is going to hurt deep.
*My house feels like it's closing in on me with dirty clothes, wet towels, tons of art projects from their year at school that I haven't had the momentum to go through yet, dirty sheets and the regular dirt, dust, cobwebs and grime.
*Upon looking at myself in the mirror this morning with one eye peeked open (it's like when you watch a scary movie. It's easier that way.) I surmised that my hair needs serious work. Because of the cars bleeding us dry - and the kids expecting to eat, and who are we kidding, have money for the boardwalk - it will have to wait. I have a new appreciation for how happy my mom was when she would get her hair done a few times a year. It feels awesome when you can finally go.
*I'm in a bad mood and I shouldn't be. Which makes me feel worse.
Are you ever in a bad mood for no good reason, you're just POed and you can't shake it?
I'm going to have some coffee, get dressed, throw a load in and make a list of chores my kids can help with. Happy Wednesday everyone!
*The children have really greasy hair bc my dear FIL was the one who gave them their bath after the pool last night. I'm not sure where it went wrong, but their locks are seriously sad. I don't know why it's bothering me, but it is.
*I checked my credit card activity and it depressed the *#%! out of me. And now today Kevin's car is going in for the brakes...so this next bill is going to hurt deep.
*My house feels like it's closing in on me with dirty clothes, wet towels, tons of art projects from their year at school that I haven't had the momentum to go through yet, dirty sheets and the regular dirt, dust, cobwebs and grime.
*Upon looking at myself in the mirror this morning with one eye peeked open (it's like when you watch a scary movie. It's easier that way.) I surmised that my hair needs serious work. Because of the cars bleeding us dry - and the kids expecting to eat, and who are we kidding, have money for the boardwalk - it will have to wait. I have a new appreciation for how happy my mom was when she would get her hair done a few times a year. It feels awesome when you can finally go.
*I'm in a bad mood and I shouldn't be. Which makes me feel worse.
Are you ever in a bad mood for no good reason, you're just POed and you can't shake it?
I'm going to have some coffee, get dressed, throw a load in and make a list of chores my kids can help with. Happy Wednesday everyone!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Chinese food is on it's way
If the title leaves a question as to my mood, I will tell you. I love food (duh) and it is a comfort in my life. I wish it wasn't, but it is. And today was a long, very draining day and at almost 9pm I am really hungry and really ready to take a load off. Which is where the Chinese food comes in. Mmmm it will be so good and my couch will be so soft, and I am hoping something good is on tv.
So I woke up at 6am after going to bed at 2am = not enough sleep for me. I had to get the girls packed up for a day away from home - I had to bring the van in to be worked on and my MIL was going to bring us to ChickFilA, then the mall for a movie while she went to the dentist, then to the pool and tonight Bailey had her softball party. Aside from my heart attack when I found out how much the van work was going to be, everything was busy but great.
And then we had the softball party. It was held at a local ice cream place, one we had not been to before.
And that should have been Clue #1 that Tatie might have a hard time. Clue #2 would be that it would be loud, Clue #3 would have been that she would be tired from the day and #4 would have been sharing Bailey.
So the thing is, Bailey is extremely social. She ran into the ice cream parlor hugging her friends, laughing, immediately jumping in to the crowd. Taylor took it all in for a second, said "Hey!! I want friends too!" and ran to catch up with Bailey. Now that Bailey's age group is getting older, Taylor is starting to get looks when she hovers around Bailey or acts inappropriately. Tonight she was so socially inept, and it broke my heart. Made me sweat. I got some looks, and that always feels worse than stepping barefoot in dog turd on a hot sunny day.
Just sayin.
Taylor was loud, obnoxious, had no manners, and kept trying to butt in with all the softball friends. I kept trying to reel her in and have her hang out with Kevin and I, but she wanted to be with Bailey and "the friends." All the other siblings were with their families, but there Taylor was, sitting at the big table, with me behind her, and every 2 seconds whispering another "Tatie, calm, shhh..."
It was exhausting. I had wished one of us had had the foresight to know how it would go down, and just took Bailey to enjoy it by herself. But it was a family party and we just didn't think. Sometimes Taylor is spot-on with behavior, and nobody would know anything was different. Then at times like tonight, you don't know what other people think...she has plenty of skills a "typical" kid would have, but she acts strangely enough to leave folks wondering. Once in awhile I get into a conversation with someone who doesn't know her well, and by the time I say her diagnosis, I get, "ohhh that's it...I thought something, but didn't know...oh!" And that feels kind of yucky, 'cause I know they're saying they could tell she was different but didn't know what it was.
Here's the thing though...if I wasn't worried what everyone else thought of her, I would be pleased with the fact that she wanted to be social!! At the beginning of her journey, she couldn't have cared less. Also, I was proud of Bailey, who not once shot Taylor a dirty look (like some of her friends did) or asked me to take Tate away. Of course they fought all the way home, but at the parlor, I took notice of that and was proud of my sister-girls.
Well, the girls are asleep now, and Kevin just walked in with my hit. When I go to bed tonight and think of the day, as I always do, I want to think about all the fun and nice moments we had today, not the moments that made me cringe or twitch. Because guess what...tomorrow we have nowhere we have to be in the morning, and that almost sounds better than digging into some chicken and broccoli. Almost.
So I woke up at 6am after going to bed at 2am = not enough sleep for me. I had to get the girls packed up for a day away from home - I had to bring the van in to be worked on and my MIL was going to bring us to ChickFilA, then the mall for a movie while she went to the dentist, then to the pool and tonight Bailey had her softball party. Aside from my heart attack when I found out how much the van work was going to be, everything was busy but great.
And then we had the softball party. It was held at a local ice cream place, one we had not been to before.
And that should have been Clue #1 that Tatie might have a hard time. Clue #2 would be that it would be loud, Clue #3 would have been that she would be tired from the day and #4 would have been sharing Bailey.
So the thing is, Bailey is extremely social. She ran into the ice cream parlor hugging her friends, laughing, immediately jumping in to the crowd. Taylor took it all in for a second, said "Hey!! I want friends too!" and ran to catch up with Bailey. Now that Bailey's age group is getting older, Taylor is starting to get looks when she hovers around Bailey or acts inappropriately. Tonight she was so socially inept, and it broke my heart. Made me sweat. I got some looks, and that always feels worse than stepping barefoot in dog turd on a hot sunny day.
Just sayin.
Taylor was loud, obnoxious, had no manners, and kept trying to butt in with all the softball friends. I kept trying to reel her in and have her hang out with Kevin and I, but she wanted to be with Bailey and "the friends." All the other siblings were with their families, but there Taylor was, sitting at the big table, with me behind her, and every 2 seconds whispering another "Tatie, calm, shhh..."
It was exhausting. I had wished one of us had had the foresight to know how it would go down, and just took Bailey to enjoy it by herself. But it was a family party and we just didn't think. Sometimes Taylor is spot-on with behavior, and nobody would know anything was different. Then at times like tonight, you don't know what other people think...she has plenty of skills a "typical" kid would have, but she acts strangely enough to leave folks wondering. Once in awhile I get into a conversation with someone who doesn't know her well, and by the time I say her diagnosis, I get, "ohhh that's it...I thought something, but didn't know...oh!" And that feels kind of yucky, 'cause I know they're saying they could tell she was different but didn't know what it was.
Here's the thing though...if I wasn't worried what everyone else thought of her, I would be pleased with the fact that she wanted to be social!! At the beginning of her journey, she couldn't have cared less. Also, I was proud of Bailey, who not once shot Taylor a dirty look (like some of her friends did) or asked me to take Tate away. Of course they fought all the way home, but at the parlor, I took notice of that and was proud of my sister-girls.
Well, the girls are asleep now, and Kevin just walked in with my hit. When I go to bed tonight and think of the day, as I always do, I want to think about all the fun and nice moments we had today, not the moments that made me cringe or twitch. Because guess what...tomorrow we have nowhere we have to be in the morning, and that almost sounds better than digging into some chicken and broccoli. Almost.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Top 10 reasons why I love summer
10. I don't have to be dressed by 8:30 to wait for the bus outside. I am no morning person, and prying my fingers off my coffee cup to change out of my nightie is no fun for anyone.
9. We eat lots of salads, sandwiches and grilled yummies instead of heavy comfort food that heats up the kitchen...and adds some poundage to my waistline. The produce of summer can't be beat either - say what you will about Jersey but we have delicious tomatoes, corn and blueberries!
8. It takes about 2 seconds for the girls to slip on a sundress and sandals, instead of the hour it takes to bundle them up in the winter. Plus in our small house, all those hats, gloves, scarves, jackets, etc take up too much room and I love packing it away.
7. The feel of the sand on my feet, the sound of the ocean roar, seagulls, the laughter of my children (when they're not fighting over the "prettier" boogie board). The smell of the saltwater and the way it feels when you run (walk in my case) into the ocean, the coolness of the water after feeling the hot sun on your back. The taste of pizza and ice cream on the boardwalk after you've been on the beach all day.
6. Watching my girls swim - they are so good at it, and they love it.
5. Pool hopping - we go to our neighborhood pool, Nan and Poppy's neighborhood pool, Nana's pool and any pool that will have us.
4. When we return from said pools, my house is exactly the way we left it (dirty, but at least not trashed. Well, not trashed like it is at the end of a long day at home).
3. Putting the girls to bed a bit earlier if they are exhausted from swimming, or staying up later if we are out having fun. It doesn't matter and that's what I love about it.
2. No homework for Bailey.
1. Vacation!! We take day trips a few times throughout the year, but most of our vacation time with Kevin happens in the summer. I love when he can wear his khaki shorts (I love me some khakis on that boy) and just enjoy the day, no laptop or phones. The night before we leave for any vacation is the best - aside from the packing which I detest - because he is so excited, like a kid. And we always have a good time!
9. We eat lots of salads, sandwiches and grilled yummies instead of heavy comfort food that heats up the kitchen...and adds some poundage to my waistline. The produce of summer can't be beat either - say what you will about Jersey but we have delicious tomatoes, corn and blueberries!
8. It takes about 2 seconds for the girls to slip on a sundress and sandals, instead of the hour it takes to bundle them up in the winter. Plus in our small house, all those hats, gloves, scarves, jackets, etc take up too much room and I love packing it away.
7. The feel of the sand on my feet, the sound of the ocean roar, seagulls, the laughter of my children (when they're not fighting over the "prettier" boogie board). The smell of the saltwater and the way it feels when you run (walk in my case) into the ocean, the coolness of the water after feeling the hot sun on your back. The taste of pizza and ice cream on the boardwalk after you've been on the beach all day.
6. Watching my girls swim - they are so good at it, and they love it.
5. Pool hopping - we go to our neighborhood pool, Nan and Poppy's neighborhood pool, Nana's pool and any pool that will have us.
4. When we return from said pools, my house is exactly the way we left it (dirty, but at least not trashed. Well, not trashed like it is at the end of a long day at home).
3. Putting the girls to bed a bit earlier if they are exhausted from swimming, or staying up later if we are out having fun. It doesn't matter and that's what I love about it.
2. No homework for Bailey.
1. Vacation!! We take day trips a few times throughout the year, but most of our vacation time with Kevin happens in the summer. I love when he can wear his khaki shorts (I love me some khakis on that boy) and just enjoy the day, no laptop or phones. The night before we leave for any vacation is the best - aside from the packing which I detest - because he is so excited, like a kid. And we always have a good time!
 |
| Poppy even gets in on the fun. Tell me that's not pure summer joy right there. |
I spoil my kids
These two pretties had breakfast in my bed this morning, on a tray, watching cartoons.
They have no idea how good they have it, and I like it that way.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)