a big fat red nose

So i have spent so much time crying last night and today that my face is swollen.  this life is just not what i anticipated.  do others have it SOOOO much worse?  yes.  but today at friendly's, after taylor's therapy and in a booth that i requested be as far away as other customers as we could get, i watched a little girl about tate's age act so -- appropriate -- that i was green.  i went through this after bailey's CF diagnosis; i had a hard time for several months watching mothers with their seemingly healthy young children and i was envious believing that they probably did not lie awake at night wondering if they would outlive their child.  i got over it, meditated on "Give us THIS day our DAILY bread" and celebrated her health each day.  really.  but i find i am going through the jealous thing all over again.  with an added element of 'not one special needs child but two...'

oh woe is me.  shut up brynn.