Friday, February 3, 2012

I'm not that mom.

Yesterday a friend called me, asking if I wanted her leftover Valentine materials to decoupage mailboxes for my girls for V-day.

Hold it.  Let me first say, said friend has a nursing 4 month old girl, and 2 boys, ages 7 and 6.  This friend had just created the mailboxes for her children, and was calmly, sweetly asking me if I wanted her leftover materials.  There was no panic in her voice, no fatigue, no indication that she was 10 seconds away from losing it.  Which is exactly how I would sound if I had a nursing 4 month old and just attempted a decoupage product with my 2 older, active boys.  She probably even had dinner on the stove already, and it was a healthy, well-rounded meal that her family would eat and appreciate.

I said, "hon, do you know me?  I don't decoupage."

(calm, sweet sounding laughter from friend) "Brynn, it's only glue and water!  Don't you do Valentine's crafts with the girls?  I thought of you right away, they would love it!"

"Of course they'd love it, they love anything that involves cutting things and glue.  Don't tell them about it, I'm serious, I don't want them to know about decoupaging."

(calm, sweet sounding laughter from friend)  "You're silly.  It's so simple.  You sure you don't want it?"

"Yes, give it to Sue, she loves this kind of stuff."

"Yeah, but she probably has lots of other projects planned, and all of her materials already."

"You're probably right.  But don't tell my kids about decoupaging."

I learned years ago that crafts are not my thing.  I wish they were, bc crafts are certainly my girls thing.  But every time I actually get all the stuff to make a "craft" (which means, anything that will make a huge mess that Mommy somehow ends up cleaning up bc by the end of the craft, all she wants is some peace and quiet so she offers to clean up just so the kids will leave the room), about 5 minutes in I start to perspire.  My left eye starts to twitch, and I try to speed along the coloring, cutting, glittering, glueing, painting, and arranging.  I try to squash about 8 million fights of, "I wanted that color pink!!  No I don't want this pink, it's not pink enough, I want THAT pink!!  I SAID PLEASE!  I said it already!!  Don't touch my craft!!  Don't look at my craft, it was a surprise and now it's ruined!  UGH!  Look what you made me do, now I spilled the whole economy-sized jar of glitter!!!"

They don't actually say stuff like "economy-sized jar."  I threw that in there to paint a picture.

Speaking of paint, that I will do.  I'm not the worst-mom-EVAH, just not the best.

Anyway, I am really fine with the fact that I'm not a craft mom.  I used to beat myself up a lot about all the ways I fell short as a mother.  Not a sports mom, not a make-my-kid-eat-all-healthy-organic mom, not a calm mom, not a cool mom and certainly not a well-dressed mom.

Well, a little bit of a sports mom.  The kind that cheers really loud for her adorable, toothless
 girl who isn't old enough yet to be embarrassed by her mom.  How CUTE is this kid?!

I love my girls with a fierce passion, and that's exactly the kind of mom I want to be.


  1. Lol youre a riot! I have a 5 month old 2 year old amd 7 yo. I am incessantly on the brink of losing it. I completely agree!

    1. Thanks!! You have your hands full, that is for sure!! All of us moms should just spend more time doing what we actually like - the kids would have more fun too bc we're not going off the deep end!