Trying to change the way I think, one thought at a time...

Upon seeing my reflection, I wish I was thinner...

*God, thank you that I have an able body, that is whole and with all 5 senses.  Thank you that I have a body that can birth and nurse babies, hold my husband, hug my mom.  Thank you for the beauty which surrounds me that I am able to feel, see, touch, taste and smell.  I am so grateful for this body.*

As I listen to my children bicker...

*Thank you God, that my children have each other.  I pray they will always be close.  Please help me teach them in a calm way how to share and enjoy each other.*

When I am frustrated with my husband...

*Lord, you have given me a precious gift in Kevin.  Teach me how to respect and honor him.   Please help me hold my tongue when I want to lash out, and help me put his needs before my wants.  Encourage me to speak kindly and warmly, and to show him I love him.*

As I compare myself with others...

*I am thankful to have friends and family in my life with so many gifts.  Please hold me up as I look to their talents, so I can learn from them, not be downhearted.   Please open my eyes for me to see my own gifts, and encourage me to use them for Your Glory.  Remind me that I don't have to keep a perfect house, make a lot of money or even maintain a thriving garden to be a "success."  The person you want me to be, I know, has nothing to do with any of those things.*

When I lay my head on the pillow tonight, I want to ask forgiveness for the times today when I did not make the right decision.  Whether it was reading emails instead of reading my devotional, or being impatient with my children...thank you God, that you so lovingly forgive me.  I want to celebrate all of the good things that happened today....thank you Lord for precious time with my family and friends.  Thank you for the beautiful day that we spent outside enjoying Your beauty.  I am grateful for Kevin working so I don't have to - thank you for his job and Kevin's heart for his family.   Thank you for another day with the people I love.

Instead of having regrets or guilt at the end of the day, I want only gratitude and a desire to live up to the person God wants me to be.

Thankful Thursday

I am going to write 10 things I am thankful for, because I could easily write 20 things I am unhappy about. So in that spirit, here is a bit of what I am grateful for, because I do try to remind myself of all the good in my life, when the bad creeps in and discourages me.


*My family is healthy today.


*My couponing talk this morning went well, and I think I helped at least 2 women (my goal was one, so bonus!) start their journey to saving some money.  It was a pretty small group but I talked for a while, over an hour, and I realized that an hour just tips the iceberg.  I am all the more interested in doing series-workshops instead of one hour talks.


*Kevin had a great day at work.  Love ya boyfriend, thank you so much for working hard for us!


*I laid down with 2 out of my 3 cats for 1/2 an hour this afternoon.  It was soft and cozy and too short.  I was very jealous of them when I had to get up.


*Our yard is torn up!!  We are on our way to actually HAVING a yard!!


*Found out today a friend of mine is having a girl after having 2 boys.  If she had 3 boys she would cherish them all and she loves being a boy-mom, but I think she's gonna have fun with a girl.  Selfishly I wanted a boy bc I am really craving a little boy in my life, but SOMEONE close to me will have a boy, SOMETIME.  Just not me....


*What number am I on?


*I turned in about a billion BoxTops today to Taylor's class.  Have I ever written here about my obsession with BoxTops?  I want my kids class to win the contest the school has every few months - Bailey's class already won this year so this time I turned them in to Tatie's.  Anyone want to give me some BoxTops?


*We took a really nice family walk tonight and made it back just before another downpour.  No matter that by the end of it the girls weren't allowed to touch or talk to each other, we were still outside and a passerby would've thought it was a nice family walk.


*Season finale Greys tonight.  Bath with my People magazine first.  New book from Jennifer Weiner last.  It's a yummy perfect-night-in kind of sandwich.


*Taylor just had her hand slapped for repeat defiance by Kevin...not thankful that had to happen, I never like that...but thankful Kevin was the one to deliver it, not me.  It's so hard looking into those huge brown eyes.  Oh, so how do I yell at her then?  I don't see them, I see red.


So in summary, the kids are driving us kind of nutty, but there is much to be thankful for.

What are YOU thankful for?

Thankful Thursday

Hmm should I even title this "Thursday" when it is clearly Monday?  Sorry again friends that I have not been blogging daily...the nice weather meant a lot of time outside; both my blogging and my house have been neglected.  And since I'd rather blog than vacuum, I'll start here.  I am thinking that when summer rolls around and my little pretties are home with me daily - and wanting to swim in every second of their free time - I am going to have to ditch the whole daily theme thing.  Otherwise it will add to my whole I-can-never-keep-up-not-good-enough feeling that follows me through many other areas.

Ok I have a lot to be thankful for.

*Since it is Monday, I will celebrate the fact that Bin Laden is dead.  Gone.  Finito.  Not sure what that means for our country's future safety, but for today, we are thankful he has been killed by US military.  Way to go boys!!

*The last of the 4 pine trees in my front yard (aka dirt patch) have been taken down!!  We are in a bit of yard renovation mode - I know it looks worse now and the neighbors are probably mad (I live in a very tree-protected area - you have to get permission first and nobody likes it when trees come down, myself included).  BUT it will look so much better and we are replacing the trees - just not pine, this time a few decorative ones like a cherry blossom, red maple...with bushes around the sides with things like hydrangeas, lilacs...I CAN'T WAIT!

"I can see it in my mind, Clark, and it's beautiful." (name that movie, it's my all-time fave.  After some other faves)

*This weekend Bailey had softball which was so great, a gorgeous day for it.  I am so grateful how nice her coaches are and the girls on her team!!  Then we spent the rest of the day with Nan and Pop (inlaws), including dinner and Rio.  Yesterday we went to my mom's to celebrate my bro's 30th bday and it was nice spending the whole weekend with family.  Bailey cries when we leave my mom's house, she's just like me, I would cry when we left from visiting Indiana - and I still do.

*As I write this I just heard Taylor say to her cat Cocoa, who is in the bathroom with her, "Come on Cokie Rokie, flush it with me.  Come on, give me your hand..."  I am grateful for cats that are so accommodating to my children.

*I am thankful it is Monday, which is a quiet day for me.  On Mondays I usually clean up from the weekend, the laundry, vac, organize coupons, MOPS agenda, make a few meals for the week.  Tatie who has put out lots of emotional energy being around people all weekend, usually likes to tinker quietly with her toys or watch a movie like a zombie.  Literally, she doesn't move.  It is a stark change from how I used to start crying on Sunday nights, knowing I had 5 days ahead of me with Kevin working all day.  I felt so alone - used and abused by my constipated, acting out 2/3 yr old and my mad-at-life-and-you're-gonna-pay-all-day baby.  To go from dreading Mondays for 3 years to absolutely looking forward to them and enjoying them is such a blessing.

Hoping you all can enjoy YOUR Monday too!

Thankful Thursday

What I am thankful for today:

*As I write this, it is my favorite night of tv shows.  Kevin's at a movie with a friend so we're DVRing the ones we watch together, and I'm snuggled in my blanket ready to watch my Greys and Private Practice.  Ahhhhh....

*We have an AWESOME steering team (the leadership team) for MOPS next year!!!!  I am so happy to be working with such amazing women, I just love them.  What a heart they have for other moms, that they would give of their time and energy so other moms are blessed.  MOPS is Mothers of Preschoolers and we meet the 1st and 3rd Tuesdays of the month at HOPE - we have maybe 50something or so moms, and we have full hot breakfast, speakers and there is childcare provided - you can't beat it!  Let me know if you want more info - you can google MOPS and find one near you! (ok advertisement over. I could go on and on - I LOVE Mops!)

*This week had its ups and downs, but tomorrow is Friday and the weekend looks fun.  Tomorrow night is Family Fun night at HOPE with "Olympic games" and pizza.  Saturday is breakfast with the Easter Bunny at Applebees with HOPE friends, and Bailey has her first softball practice and game!!!  Sunday we hope to see the new Hop movie, the girls love going to the movies!

*The girls had great report cards.  I'll tell you, report cards are different than when I was a kid - remember the S for Satisfactory?  And Taylor doesn't get checks or letters, she has a booklet, practically, of where she is measuring up with all her goals -- I haven't even gone through the whole thing yet, but from skimming it I didn't see any red flags jump out.  And of course Bailey's teacher wrote she "is a joy to have in class."

*Bailey was diagnosed with strep AGAIN on Monday, but I am happy to say she is on the mend.  I was really concerned this morning when she woke she was coughing - I asked friends and family to pray - and not ONE cough since she came home from school.  Praise God! I would be devastated if she was ill for her dress rehearsal for choir concert this weekend and her first day of softball.  And selfishly, I really enjoyed my time with her, extra snuggling, reading, movies and Wii.  She's my little girlfriend.

*The girls and I had a really fun time going to the Disney store to pick up Tangled.  Their grandparents had bought it ahead of time, which came with a $20 off coupon when you spend $40 - so I let them pick out 2 "no reason" gifts.  We had such a good time, and Bailey did really well - she usually has a terrible time with choices, takes forever, and practically hyperventilates.  But she chose a coloring set which she whispered to me, "Do I have to share this with Tatie or can I hide it?" (she doesn't have to share it) and Tatie chose a Rapunzel soft dollie.  Once we got home Taylor wanted to cut the doll's hair like in the movie and I had a very interesting hour of trying to talk her out of it and explaining the hair wouldn't grow back or change color like in the movie.

*Tatie lost her 2nd tooth tonight!  I was so proud of her for not crying, because it came out unexpectedly, while she was horsing around with Kevin.  And I was proud of myself for not crying, because my baby's getting so big :(

Have a great weekend all!

Thankful Thursday

Some things this week I am thankful for:

* I love being a MOPS coordinator, but it's a lot of work.  This week we didn't have a MOPS mtg or leadership mtg, so I really appreciated the break.

*Girls are relatively healthy.  Tatie has a cough that's still lingering, and Bailey has a booger problem that's still lingering, both otherwise ok.

*My husband is having a successful week at his job.

*Everyone I love is safe.  That's not something to take lightly in this world.

*I finally got caught up in getting my pictures developed.  Next up, getting them in the albums and labeled.

*As I write this, Curtis Stone is on the tv.  He's dreamy.

*I moved on to World 6 on Wii's Super Mario.  This made my children proud of me.

*On Saturday we're going to see Lion King on broadway with the girls in NYC - we're so excited!  And equally as excited for the Olive Garden lunch, a family fave.

Much love to all - here's to being thankful!

Thankful Thursday.

Today is St Patricks Day.  That's all, I don't really have anything else to say about that.  Because my brain has become mush, I don't really recall the historical significance of it - I think it was a good reason though so Yay Irish people.  Go you.  Or something.

So even though it's not my thing...I DID wear green and I DID like to see everyone enjoy themselves.  The girls had a good time at school, the kids at the park seemed happy, you FB friends were eating green pancakes and corned beef (never had it).  Everyone likes something to celebrate, even if the majority of the people don't even know what they're celebrating.

Or do they all know, and I'm the only dumb one.  Hmm.

Anyway, here is my thankfulness list.

1.  Tatie had a playdate this morning, and Bailey had a playdate after school.  The girls and I also decided we're going to have a Tanged party when we get the movie, and they can each invite a few friends.  One of my New Years resolutions was to do more things with friends - for the girls too also - and I feel like we're actually living up to that one. 

2,  Kevin is doing well at his job, which we are very grateful for. 

3.  This weather!!

4.  This weekend Kev and I are going to AC for the day with Kevin's brother Scott, and his girlfriend.  Who I love.  So it'll be a really good time.  This is our Christmas present to each other - instead of buying gifts, we choose an activity.  And then on Sunday we're going to a middle school show of Beauty and the Beast, so lots of fun.

5.  Another normal day.  With seeing what the Japanese are enduring, vacuuming and laundry seems pretty damn privileged.

6.  Taylor has off from school tomorrow, I'm looking forward to palling around with her in the morning and then in the afternoon we have a playdate planned, so more fun-ness!

7.  Tonight I took a walk...and even jogged some.  I know, I can't believe it either!!  I stopped after a bit -  I didn't want to scare the children playing if I passed out clutching my chest outside their house.

8.  Private Practice is new tonight, I'm watching it right now.  Perhaps it has contributed to that whole brain-mush thing I have going, but I don't care.

9.  Taylor was really coughing and snotty yesterday morning, but seemed pretty good today.  Bailey has also been doing better with her breathing and coughing.  Yay!

10.   I have fresh sheets on my bed.  The good kind of sheets, because my mom saw we had old, torn sheets and she took pity on us.  Before you think we had nasty sheets because we be po', that's not why.  The girls each have 3 sets of beautiful, soft sheets.  But when you have a few bucks, it's always easier to spend it differently than buying the high thread-count sheets.  But they are so worth it, thanks Mom!!

Bonus #11.  My mom rocks.  She not only gave us luxurious sheets, when she comes to visit me sometimes she makes our bed.  And throws in a load of towels.  And straightens up the girls rooms.  And scrubs my stove.  Well, that she does because she can't stand how nasty I let it get, it hurts her eyes. Anyway, you get the gist -- she still mothers me.  And THAT is awesome.  I love her.

Thankful Thursday

What I am thankful for on this rainy day...

*Both my children are home with me today.  Tatie has off bc of parent-teacher conferences most of the week, and Bailey has a cough so I'm letting her lay around, get extra breathing treatments and try to get better.  When they are home with me in the middle of the week I feel like it's how it used to be, the 3 of us all day.  I DO romanticize the past...what I wouldn't have given then for a break!!  But for today, it's nice.  Mostly.

*My family ate a healthy breakfast together this morning at the table, we were laughing and nothing spilled.  I love when that happens.

*All of the laundry is almost done.

*Tonight is my favorite tv night...if it's reruns I'm turning it off, no watching Seinfeld or anything.  But if they're new shows, I'm snuggling in with my blankie and lovin it.

*Tomorrow morning I'm seeing a friend I haven't seen for 7 years.  Even though our visit will be short, I am really looking forward to it.

*For dinner we are making homemade pizza and playing a game, it's always a pretty good time.  Well, until one of the girls win and lords it over the other girl...that's not fun.

*I'm going to go take a shower now, and that's going to feel awesome.