Friday, May 17, 2013


Forgiveness is hard, wouldn't you say?  I think it's because we can't forget.  We can't just flip a switch and have a memory erased, as much as sometimes we wish to.  So even though, in good circumstances, we want to forgive, and we even feel compassion, understanding, love and forgiveness...the memory still comes.  Maybe because of the date on the calendar, maybe from a song playing on the radio, maybe as your mind wanders in the quiet still of the morning.

Forgiveness is hard.  It's hard even under the best conditions - whoever has wronged you has asked for your forgiveness, and has asked to bless you going forward.  The memory lingers, and the trust doesn't come easily and without question.  It's work, and sacrifice.  Forgiveness can even come and feel liberated and loving, maybe even for long stretches of time.   But then perhaps the memory comes, the anger and hurt flares, and you realize you need to go back to step 1, in order to forgive, again.

Forgiveness is crazy hard when the situation is worse...nobody wants your forgiveness, or the wrong is ongoing.   Or the person has passed away and there will be little or no"closure".

No advice from my corner.

I think on God's perspective of we sin every day in many ways, and He forgives us as soon as we whisper the words "please God..." from our lips.  Yes, there may be consequences that could be far reaching even, from our words or actions, but God's heart is loving towards us and forgiveness is freely given.

But He is God and I am not, so it comes much harder for me.

As in all things though, I think forgiveness is a learning process, and perhaps one we will not master in this life.  Maybe, but I don't know.  Maybe some areas of hurt can be completely forgiven, with the memories never causing any pain again.  Maybe the memories even change within the safety of our mind.  For myself I am learning that just in all things, I do not need to be perfect here.  I can struggle with forgiveness, and still love.  My struggle brings me closer to God in a way, because I look up to Him in adoration for what He is capable of doing so selflessly.  Does that make sense?

I am working through this area in my life.  Forgiveness towards others and towards MYSELF.  I have wronged myself, I have let myself down, I have made promises to me that I haven't kept.  Let alone to others.

Forgiveness is hard.  Not forgiving is harder.   I'm working on it.

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