Thankful Thursday

I am going to write 10 things I am thankful for, because I could easily write 20 things I am unhappy about. So in that spirit, here is a bit of what I am grateful for, because I do try to remind myself of all the good in my life, when the bad creeps in and discourages me.


*My family is healthy today.


*My couponing talk this morning went well, and I think I helped at least 2 women (my goal was one, so bonus!) start their journey to saving some money.  It was a pretty small group but I talked for a while, over an hour, and I realized that an hour just tips the iceberg.  I am all the more interested in doing series-workshops instead of one hour talks.


*Kevin had a great day at work.  Love ya boyfriend, thank you so much for working hard for us!


*I laid down with 2 out of my 3 cats for 1/2 an hour this afternoon.  It was soft and cozy and too short.  I was very jealous of them when I had to get up.


*Our yard is torn up!!  We are on our way to actually HAVING a yard!!


*Found out today a friend of mine is having a girl after having 2 boys.  If she had 3 boys she would cherish them all and she loves being a boy-mom, but I think she's gonna have fun with a girl.  Selfishly I wanted a boy bc I am really craving a little boy in my life, but SOMEONE close to me will have a boy, SOMETIME.  Just not me....


*What number am I on?


*I turned in about a billion BoxTops today to Taylor's class.  Have I ever written here about my obsession with BoxTops?  I want my kids class to win the contest the school has every few months - Bailey's class already won this year so this time I turned them in to Tatie's.  Anyone want to give me some BoxTops?


*We took a really nice family walk tonight and made it back just before another downpour.  No matter that by the end of it the girls weren't allowed to touch or talk to each other, we were still outside and a passerby would've thought it was a nice family walk.


*Season finale Greys tonight.  Bath with my People magazine first.  New book from Jennifer Weiner last.  It's a yummy perfect-night-in kind of sandwich.


*Taylor just had her hand slapped for repeat defiance by Kevin...not thankful that had to happen, I never like that...but thankful Kevin was the one to deliver it, not me.  It's so hard looking into those huge brown eyes.  Oh, so how do I yell at her then?  I don't see them, I see red.


So in summary, the kids are driving us kind of nutty, but there is much to be thankful for.

What are YOU thankful for?

Whatever Wednesday

Yo.  It is 3:04 pm, about 1/2 hr until my chickies come home.  Bailey went back to school today which was l.o.v.e.l.y.  I had cried my eyes out for about 2 weeks when she started 1st grade this year, not knowing how I'd make it through every day with her gone, my angel baby, for 7 hours.  Well I've gotten quite used to angel baby being gone each day and when she is home during the week missing school and all her friends (read: whining, following me around, closing her door to her sister which makes sister furious...) I realize how nicely I've adjusted to full day school.  I see her for about 2 hrs in the morning unless my hubby's home and let's me sleep in (xoxo to you Kev) and from 3:45 on in the afternoon...and weekends...and snow days, sick days, MLK and every other kind of day...and summers.  I feel really blessed to have the best of both worlds - time when my children are in school to allow me to do other things, and time with them when they're home.

Taylor at this point spends 3 hrs/day except every other Friday in school, but next year she'll be full day like Bailey.  It's 1/2 day kindergarten in our district but they are putting her in 1/2 day "normal" kindergarten and 1/2 day special ed.  She'll leave on the morning bus wiht Bailey to go to her special kindergarten, eat lunch with them and then leave to go to normal.  A few of her friends from this year's class have the same arrangement, which is a huge relief.  She has had the same room, teacher, aides and therapists for 2 years and it's all changing - a big check-minus in Taylor's book.  So the fact that she will at least be at the same school, with a few friends, is awesome.

I'm not sure yet if I will cry as I did with Bailey, but I am sure now I will get over it.

Today I was talking with a few friends about what my plans will be for next year when both girls are gone all day.  So...I really think I want to somehow market myself as a "coupon consultant."  Several times a week I am talking coupons with people, and I love it.  I love saving money and I love talking about how.  There are so many "secrets" that people don't know about and I want to share what I know so other people can free up more money for things they want and need.  I am not sure what this will look like yet, but for starters I am going to make myself available to talk to MOPS and other mothers groups in the area.  Maybe do a workshop out of churches, libraries, etc.  Tomorrow I am speaking to a MOPS group in Cherry Hill - no charge, but great practice.  I spoke at my own MOPS group also, earlier this year.  Truly, to really delve into it, I need much more time than an hour to show people how to coupon effectively and efficiently.

So that's what I'm thinking about today.  I wish sometimes God could just call me up and tell me what He wants me to do, and what I'll be good at.  I never thought I'd want to venture into something like this, but I kind of fell into couponing, grew to really appreciate it and love it, and now I think perhaps I might even be able to make a small income helping other people learn the system while still being "at home" with my kids.  I feel excited!

Tummy Tuesday and a Top 10

I've probably gained it back since then but on Saturday's weigh in at WW, I lost 2 lbs.  Happy about that!  But since then, ugh eating too much, esp as I've been trapped in the house with the rain and a sick kid.  Emotionally eating, bored eating, baking-with-Bailey eating...

I'll reign it in and hoping this Saturday shows a bit more of a loss!

Top 10 Favorite Foods (I don't know why, bc I'm bored and don't want to do any chores)

1.  Mom's cooking.  Her meatballs, apple pie, potato skins (only for the Super Bowl and it's been maybe 15 yrs since I've had one!), meatloaf, Ranch dressing, rice...it's better if Mom makes it.

2.  Ham roll-ups made by Kevin's aunt Sarah.  She makes them for New Years and Kevin's parents always bring me back a plate.  That's what you do for fat people fyi - when you go to parties, you bring them home the leftovers :)  Well this year our family went to their party too and she made me a HUGE batch, I still have some in the freezer!  They are these very thin crepe like appetizers - I know they don't sound good and I only eat ham a few times a year but these are soo good.

3.  Cheesecake with my work girlfriends.  We always choose a dessert to share, and when it's cheesecake I think, it doesn't get better than that.  Fun with friends AND creamy sweetness.  Better with fruit sauce.

4.  Homemade pizza.  Mom makes the best crust (of course) but I've been experimenting.  I also love the fun of it, everyone piling on their toppings.

5.  Holiday food.  Christmas cookies with the kids and giving them to people, seeing their smiles.  Turkey and mashed potatoes with the family.  Seeing my brother make a well in his mashed potatoes brings me more happiness when I eat mine, I remember that he's done that his whole life.  My MIL's mac and cheese, my SIL's crumb apple pie.  Love it all, with a side of green beans because I'm healthy like that.  No really, I love green beans.

6.  Anything Italian.  Lasagna, stuffed shells, spaghetti and meatballs...all of it.  With salad and bread thank you very much.  Love the smells.  Love that it freezes well.  Love that my husband loves it too and whispers sweet nothings in my ear when I make him pasta.

7.  Stir frys.  Crunchy veggies, flavorful meat.  Tortillas that I've gotten for free with coupons make it even better.

8.  Fruit.  I love smoothies, fruit salads, berries in pancakes or on cereal, and just a plain old good apple or banana to tide me over until dinner.  So thankful for fruit.  I love fresh tasting, Farmers Market kind of food.

9. Kevin's summer burgers.  My man don't cook.  But in the summer, he grills probably once a week and his burgers are delish.  My dad bless him always used to burn them to a crisp.  Kevin has that fine line down where they're not pink at all (love it in a steak, hate it in a burger) but don't dried and burnt.  Plus, I love eating outside with my family and that makes everything taste better too!!

10.  Finally, I love a good hoagie.  Jersey Mike's in Toms River is pretty good, Primos is pretty good.  I can't make one as good as a deli, just can't even with a great roll that we are lucky to have in Jersey.  If I really have my way I'd have it with 1/2 a cup of milk and a good deli pickle too, fresh sliced.

If you're still reading - anyone? - what's YOUR fave?

Mommy Monday

So today Bailey was home sick again, strep throat for the FIFTH time.  We have an ENT appt in 2 weeks, she'll probably have to get her tonsils out.  Anyway, my scheduled day ended up not turning out anything like what I had planned...but such is life!  I was stressed by the end of the day for sure, but my time just with Bailey while Taylor was in school was dear to me.  She was appreciative and loving - we told each other what we love about each other.  It's such a Bailey kind of conversation.  Taylor, probably irked that Bailey got to stay home and she had to go to school, and thrown off with the change in routine, was a handful for much of the day...but redeemed herself during tuck in time by being funny and sweet.

Anyway, tonight I started a fruit and veggie chart for the girls.  I did this once before with them, with mediocre success.  Basically, it is a bribing/reward system to get them to try different healthy foods.  Their choices have to be something they've already tried and hated, or have never tried at all.  At first I said they have to eat a whole piece of it (like a whole strawberry) or if it's small like peas, they have to eat their age.  Bailey was about to flip her lid bc she's 2 years older and thought that was very unfair and I kind of agreed, so I said they had to have 6, a compromise number.  Once they get to 10 servings - and they have to be different, so even if they eat more of something it won't count - they are getting a Nerf gun.  It shoots these soft things out and sticks to windows, the doors, etc.  They're psyched.  My hope is that they add just one or two more fruits or veggies to their small list of preferred choices, and that will make this so worth it.  Oh and if they complain more than once it doesn't count.  Tonight's choice was watermelon, we started out easy.  Taylor actually eats watermelon sometimes as a snack at school, but Bailey really doesn't like it.  After praying to God to help her (goodness, the drama that goes on in this house)  she ate a slice.  Tomorrow is corn on the cob, 1/2 of one but I can cut it off for them I said and add butter and salt.

Wouldn't you want a chart with a fun toy as a reward and all you have to do is eat delicious food?!  These girls have the life I tell you.  I hope I'm not creating major future damage.

Flash Back (and Forward) Friday - prom

So I don't know about you FBers (is that a word?) but my feed has been lighting up with prom pictures.  I am "friends" with some teens from church and I love seeing them in their dresses and tuxes, with huge or hesitant smiles on their faces.  I can't help but wonder what their nights were like, and remembering mine from those long ago high school days!

I was fortunate enough to go to both my junior and senior proms, and also to my high school boyfriend's junior and senior proms.  He went to a different high school and was a year ahead of me.  We dated from early my sophomore year until the summer before I went to college.  3 out of 4 of those proms were very nice, one was sort of nice, but has a few unpleasant memories attached to it.  So when my own girls are preparing for prom someday (slow down Nelly!) I know I will remember the sweet slow dancing with a guy you think hung the moon, the excitement of being with friends you think you'll have forever, the feeling of being almost grown up.  But I'll also be mindful that although they might look like women filling out their much-sought-after-perfect-dress, they're not.  They're still young girls, and it's my job to protect them.  It's my job to try my best to keep their hearts and bodies safe.  I'm not ignorant, I know that they may make choices independent of my wishes.

I don't want my girls to pay a price they don't deserve, for my experience as a teenager.  My choices have nothing to do with them.  But my point is, I remember being in teenage love.  I remember wanting to be wanted, by my boyfriend and my friends.  I remember prom was a huge part of my world - can you imagine?

I just want my girls to be with boys that respect them, and honor them.  I want them to have friends that "get" them, and love them.  I want them to enjoy their proms, but I hope it's just a dance where they have fun with their friends, and maybe a special boy.  Nothing more, you know what I'm saying?

Luckily I don't have to think about proms for 10 more years.

Thinking Thursday - ode to coffee

I haven't always had an appreciation of coffee.  Growing up, we were only allowed soda with pizza, and the rest of the time we had water, milk or sometimes lemonade.  In college, I became a hot tea drinker - I liked the coziness of a hot drink with friends, but I didn't like coffee that much unless I added a bunch of cream/sugar to it, and I could tolerate tea black, so I figured that was better.  When I had Bailey though, I became a coffee drinker.

My mom, a 2-cup-every-morning-or-she-gets-sick coffeelover, stayed overnight with me once a week if not more after I had Bailey.  I will never forget those early mornings with her - it made getting up with the baby at 5am so much more tolerable.  She would make her instant coffee (can you imagine, that is what she drank for what, 30/40 years?!  She never had a coffee maker until maybe 2 yrs ago and I didn't have one either!!) and we'd sit on the couches and talk for hours, with sweet baby Bailey in one of our laps or in her beloved swing.  Sometimes she'd make me a hot breakfast, sometimes she'd offer to have the baby so Kev and I could sleep, sometimes she'd be doing our laundry, folding it as we talked.  But there was something so appealing to me about her calmness and energy at that early hour.  My mom is SUCH a morning person, and I am SUCH a night owl.  I wanted to switch over to her side.  (I never really did.)  And I wanted to have a cup with her, it just seemed such a warm and cozy start to the morning.

So I started having a small cup of instant with her.  It was never about the coffee, bc really, instant blows.  I didn't really know better, bc any coffee I had ever had was not great in my book.  Now I know I am a breakfast-blend kind of girl, a lighter coffee.   I don't like coffee dark, and I can't drink it black.  A bit of whole milk and flavored creamer is my preferred set-up.  I have one bigger mugful in the morning, and that's it.  I don't think of myself as addicted to the coffee, but I've become addicted to the routine.  Kevin, bless his heart, sets up my coffee for me every night, and even hits the switch in the morning so I wake to the smell.  He sets out my fave mug with a spoon in it, and if he's left for work already, with a little note.  So here again, just like my mornings with my mom, it's not the coffee so much that I love - it's the feeling it gives me.  Optimistic for the day.  Cozy, warm.  And actually, loved.

Who knew coffee could do more than give you a bit of a jolt.

*Disclaimer.  I have no idea whose pic that is of the delicious looking coffee.  It looks delicious bc it has added cream and sugar.  In any case, I would give credit to whose it is, if I knew - Imagechef.com like the pic says, but I don't know who took it.   I looked up "pic of coffee" and this looked the part I wanted it to play.  That's all.  Someday I will have a clue, and that will be a great day.

Whatever Wednesday

A few months ago I wrote about how I was a minute late for the kids buses after school.  Taylor was traumatized, but eventually stopped talking about it.  I felt like a terrible mom -- made more terrible after I used ice cream as a bribe to have her stop crying.  It was not a good afternoon for me.

I was literally only one minute late.

Today, I forgot Bailey's snack and lunch.  Now, for lunch she can just buy it, she has an account that I put money in every few months for her pizza-Fridays.  But what did she do for a snack?  Does her teacher have extra stashed away?  And because of her CF she is not allowed to drink out of water fountains, so what did she drink?  Was she embarrassed, did she cry, did she wonder why I forgot about her?   I didn't realize I forgot until I saw her library book on the table when I came home from church around noon.  In the car bringing it to the school, I suddenly remembered zipping up her bookbag in a rush, with her lunch and snack boxes in it, and I realized I never took them out to fill this morning.  Going in to the school I saw her in the cafeteria and we blew kisses to each other through the glass and she had her tray of food in front of her.

So, my question is, will she remember the 179 days this year I did pack her snack and lunch...or will she remember going over with her classmates to retrieve her snack box and opening it to find nothing.  Hmm.

Princesses should always have their snack.

Like many areas in my life...

I have let this blog fall by the wayside.  Sometimes I wonder if I have a touch of ADD - I take on a few things at once, one or two things too many, and then don't finish any of it.  I do what I have to do - family matters, MOPS, house stuff. But the projects I start - this blog for instance, organizing the garage, learning how to do new things like selling items online...I just keep procrastinating.  I start and then get overwhelmed, so I don't finish.  I set high goals for myself in too short of a timespan and then feel guilty when the goals aren't brought to completion, which renders me unmotivated to complete other goals.

Am I the only nutty?

Anyway, with this blog, my mind started to get ahead of itself with what I wanted to do with it.  I wanted to be a "contagious Christian" with it, and have my faith be apparent in many posts.  I wanted to teach others how to save money.  I wanted to journal my experience as a mom with special needs kids, as a way to store memories and growth, and as a tool to encourage others if possible.  I wanted to journal my experience as a woman with a lifelong food addiction, and a desire to learn and heal.  I started this blog for myself, but after some positive feedback, I started thinking about what it could be for other people.  But that's where I faltered - in my desire to help others, the blog became bigger in my mind than just a simple journal, and I put too much expectation on it.  I even thought maybe I could become a real "blogger" and make money with it!!  Some people do, and I think it's a wonderful way to earn some income while reaching out to others and learning things yourself along the way.  What I now realize, is that making the decision to be a "blogger" is at least a part-time if not full-time job to do it successfully, taking discipline, resourcefulness and creativity.

I have realized something about myself.  I am a TERRIBLE ball juggler.  I just can not do it.  I also need to learn some better time management skills.

To that end, I am going to try to maintain this blog more regularly, because I have learned it's important to me.  I want to continue, even if it's not daily as I once made a goal for myself.  I hope you'll continue reading.

Sales Saturday - cheap menu ideas/May menu plan

Last week I was pleased to spend less than $40 at ShopRite, saving $40-something.  I always like saving more than I spend.  This bill included lunchmeats, yogurt, produce, laundry detergent, foil, and a dessert for my girls-night-in.  Also last week I spent around $13 at the drugstore, which included 2 gallons of milk, 4 tooth spinbrushes, toothpaste, huge sticker letters and a trifold board for Bailey's school art project.  So I was about $3 over what I wanted to spend, but I'm including Bailey's stuff in there, which was about $7.

This week I want to spend around $50 also.  There are not many drugstore sales that I want, so may pass them up.  I need to go to Acme, not a store I usually like, but they are having a sale on General Mills/Yoplait products where if you buy 5 products - they're $2.50 each product - you get free milk.  You can buy whatever kind of milk you want, it take's up to $4.50 off your bill.  We need some cereal so this is a good deal for me with coupons making the $2.50 each, less.  I also need our weekly produce, etc but I think that I am going to hit up our local farmers market.  I even have a $5 off coupon to use there - a rare find!

I have made up a meal plan menu for May (20 days worth, leaving room for going out, family fun nights at church, leftovers and when I just don't feel like it!)  and I am pleased that I have all the ingredients already for all of these meals, minus a few fresh ingredients.  Here is my menu -

*Baked chicken legs, corn, stuffing, salad
*Stuffed shells, salad, bread
*Ground turkey and refried bean burritos, yellow rice
*Clam Chowder, bread or crackers, fruit salad
*Spicy chicken strips salad

*Sloppy joes, baked red potato slices
*Ham, macaroni and cheese bake, applesauce
*Roast turkey, rice, peas
*Creamy chicken noodles, salad
*Turkey pot pie, fruit cups

*Crockpot roast beef, mashed potatoes, green beans
*Chicken veggie rice casserole, applesauce
*Roast beef sammies, mashed tater pancakes
*Ravioli w meat sauce, salad, bread
*Make-your-own calzones

*Ground turkey swedish mtbls, noodles, salad
*Breaded chicken cutlets, broccoli casserole, applesauce
*Beef and veggie stir fry, rice
*Breaded chicken cutlet sandwiches, macaroni salad, fruit cups
*Turkey noodle soup, bread or crackers, carrots and dip

These are really frugal meals and not because I use trashy food ingredients.  I use a lot of fresh herbs, brown rice, real potatoes - not boxed or frozen.  But because I buy things on sale, I have a full freezer of meat, cheese and veggies, a full pantry of pastas, sauces, rice.  The turkey I got for free with the Easter promotion (spend $300 - a price that is BEFORE coupons so I estimate I spent 1/2 that if not less!) and the bread I get for free as Panera Bread donates to MOPS biweekly and I freeze it.  Think about substitutions for your favorite meals.  For instance, I have never made swedish meatballs with ground turkey but I don't have any ground beef as it hasn't been on sale in FOREVER.  My stock up price for that is $1.99/lb for 93% lean.  Why by the 80% when after you cook it you have tons of fat?  Then you have less meat - so it's pointless in my book.  Anyway, I am craving them soon, so I am going to try a ground turkey swedish meatball recipe I found.  We'll see how it turns out!

Anyone have any frugal meals they want to share?

Flash Back Friday - my how things have changed.

Today I was remembering a trip to the Moorestown mall I took when the girls were itty-bittys.  I don't know why I went, as I rarely took them to the Mo mall.  I would take them to the Echelon mall, which had a toy store, little kid "rides" and pet store.  That would buy me at least 1/2 an hour of having something to do - 45 minutes if I bought an Auntie Anne's.  But regardless, for some unknown reason, I took them to the Mo mall.

I don't remember why we went, I don't remember what we did, all I remember is how we left.  With me holding a 2yr old one one hip and an infant on the other, pushing a double stroller with my stomach that held not a child, but a humongous diaper bag.  That thing could have been a kid though, it weighed so much.  Anyway, both children screaming, madder than a chunky on a diet. (I can say that since I'm chunky, mad, on a diet.  Someone get me a danish and some coffee, stat.)  The second I strapped them in to their car seats, they stopped.  I remember sitting there in the van and just staring into space, too exhausted to even drive.  I was embarrassed from all the looks I got as I made that long trek out to the van (it wasn't that long but every step felt like a hundred) and I felt like a failure.  I felt like how I looked - a worn out, sweats wearing (probably with some type of bodily fluid on it), mess of a stay-at-home mom whose kids were running the show, not her.  I wanted people to know that being a SAHM was really hard work but I didn't want to be the poster child for it!

I had a lot of moments like that.  Some I remember, but there were so many, some I don't.  Of being stared at, who knows what they were thinking.  Of feeling exhausted, used and abused.  Of feeling like I am a total failure at this SAHM thing.  But really my life is looking a lot different these days.  With Taylor's needs I still get looks, but not as often.  I still get tired, and sometimes I feel I'd like someone to serve me for a change, but I enjoy serving my family and it is very fulfilling. I still feel like a failure sometimes, but really,  I know I'm not.  Good days, bad days, but I see the bigger picture.

And I can take the girls to the mall and no matter what happens, I won't be carrying them both out, one on each hip.  If they're having fits (or more likely something like being rude, selfish, or arguing over who's the prettier princess) I'd be marching them out, one holding each hand, with threats of taking away their Leapster, Wii, and anything sweet for the next week.

Well, I wouldn't go that far, like I said, someone get me a danish.  And it'd be downright cruel to eat it in front of them.  Right?  Maybe I'm on to the next great really-effective-fabulous punishment idea.

Thankful Thursday

Hmm should I even title this "Thursday" when it is clearly Monday?  Sorry again friends that I have not been blogging daily...the nice weather meant a lot of time outside; both my blogging and my house have been neglected.  And since I'd rather blog than vacuum, I'll start here.  I am thinking that when summer rolls around and my little pretties are home with me daily - and wanting to swim in every second of their free time - I am going to have to ditch the whole daily theme thing.  Otherwise it will add to my whole I-can-never-keep-up-not-good-enough feeling that follows me through many other areas.

Ok I have a lot to be thankful for.

*Since it is Monday, I will celebrate the fact that Bin Laden is dead.  Gone.  Finito.  Not sure what that means for our country's future safety, but for today, we are thankful he has been killed by US military.  Way to go boys!!

*The last of the 4 pine trees in my front yard (aka dirt patch) have been taken down!!  We are in a bit of yard renovation mode - I know it looks worse now and the neighbors are probably mad (I live in a very tree-protected area - you have to get permission first and nobody likes it when trees come down, myself included).  BUT it will look so much better and we are replacing the trees - just not pine, this time a few decorative ones like a cherry blossom, red maple...with bushes around the sides with things like hydrangeas, lilacs...I CAN'T WAIT!

"I can see it in my mind, Clark, and it's beautiful." (name that movie, it's my all-time fave.  After some other faves)

*This weekend Bailey had softball which was so great, a gorgeous day for it.  I am so grateful how nice her coaches are and the girls on her team!!  Then we spent the rest of the day with Nan and Pop (inlaws), including dinner and Rio.  Yesterday we went to my mom's to celebrate my bro's 30th bday and it was nice spending the whole weekend with family.  Bailey cries when we leave my mom's house, she's just like me, I would cry when we left from visiting Indiana - and I still do.

*As I write this I just heard Taylor say to her cat Cocoa, who is in the bathroom with her, "Come on Cokie Rokie, flush it with me.  Come on, give me your hand..."  I am grateful for cats that are so accommodating to my children.

*I am thankful it is Monday, which is a quiet day for me.  On Mondays I usually clean up from the weekend, the laundry, vac, organize coupons, MOPS agenda, make a few meals for the week.  Tatie who has put out lots of emotional energy being around people all weekend, usually likes to tinker quietly with her toys or watch a movie like a zombie.  Literally, she doesn't move.  It is a stark change from how I used to start crying on Sunday nights, knowing I had 5 days ahead of me with Kevin working all day.  I felt so alone - used and abused by my constipated, acting out 2/3 yr old and my mad-at-life-and-you're-gonna-pay-all-day baby.  To go from dreading Mondays for 3 years to absolutely looking forward to them and enjoying them is such a blessing.

Hoping you all can enjoy YOUR Monday too!