Flash Back Friday...my so-called life

Do you remember the '90s show, 'My So-Called Life'?  Claire Danes and her typical-teen drama as a teen in love, friendship, family.  I loved that show...she seemed so cool yet real.  I was transfixed with her...as I was with Neve Campbell in 'Party of Five.'  Oh I really loved 'Party of Five'.  Everyone my age seemed to be in love with Bailey, but I loved Charlie.  First of all, he was hot.  Sorry, but he was.  Second...alright that's all I really remember - that and his youngest sister was annoying as anything.  Claudia.  Annoying.

I loved these shows as a teen and I still love them now...it takes me to a different place.  It's part masochistic, because these shows always made me feel dumpy and loser-ish, the girls with their tiny legs in jean shorts and tank tops off-the-shoulder.  Even if they had problems, their lives definitely seemed better than mine.  Ugh that's sounds so negative but it's where I was...and still am sometimes.

The other night Kevin and I were watching a show and the couple was dating, and so hot for each other.  I turned to him and said, "Don't you miss that?  They're so cute and all into each other...that feeling of excitement, don't you miss it?"

He could've gone a few different ways with his response.  He could've lied, and said we are still into each other like that...which if you had seen us, laying on separate couches, you would know we're past that I-can't-get-enough-of-you-when-can-we-be-alone time in our relationship.  And by past, I mean really past.  He could've also said that he does miss it, which would've made me really sad.  But instead, he said he loves me and likes what we have.

When we were young and dating, we definitely had the hotness.  Now we have flashes of hotness, but pretty much a steady temp of warm.  Once in awhile it's freezing...but I think we're both okay with that.  When I watch these shows though, I get very un-ok with where we are in our relationship.  It's like I KNOW that it's just tv, I KNOW that real life isn't like that, but I want it anyway.  I get jealous of those teen girls all over again, and how ridiculous is that.  Sure I can be rightfully jealous of their tiny legs in the jean shorts, but of their teen angst with their boyfriends?  They can have it.

I'll take my Saturday night of mexican take-out on our separate couches, and I'll keep my memories of our hotter days of sneaking off to Valley Forge Park...all you Eastern alums know what I'm talking about!  And sometimes I still even look at the clock to see how many minutes until he gets home...does it matter that it's because I want him to take care of the kids?  There are times we fight, times when the next 50 years seem like a VERY long time...but we really do love each other, and isn't that the stuff dreams are made of?

I'll try to remember that the next time I get caught up in a McDreamy/McSteamy scene.  I have a feeling I'll forget.