I'm going to be honest, because what's the point if I'm not.
I have been feeling very lazy in my relationship with God lately. I bailed out of the Bible study I had been attending, because it required a lot of thought and time. It made me feel a little dumb, and because I am pleasure-seeking, I started finding reasons to not go. Which then makes me feel worse. When I actually do sit and read the Bible or pray, I find my thoughts racing, my mind wandering...which again, makes me feel bad.
Just this morning I heard some terrible news about a family friend. It made me upset, and I did pray, Oh God, help them. But then it's like I couldn't pray anymore, I didn't want to sit down and pray...I felt like if I did, I'd just start crying and I had too much to do this morning to take the time to have a little meltdown. It's like I miss God, and I want God...but I am putting Him at arms length and I'm not sure why exactly.
I guess a relationship with God is like any relationship - it takes work, and time, and love. Priority. And that's what's missing on my end - making God a priority, putting out the work, and taking the time. I attend church, I pray with my children, I believe completely. Sometimes I have issues -- trust, for one. I go very back and forth with my trust in God.
I can't even maintain a thought. Well, I guess what I'm saying is I need to do some work. And perhaps you've been there once or twice?