I didn't get a chance to go to church on Sunday, since B. was sick. Is sick. So I haven't had a chance to listen to the sermon on podcast either. So this week I can't steal Pastor Jeff's ideas...booo....
So I thought I'd tell you my favorite Scripture, and why. It is the Lord's Prayer. Growing up, I learned this prayer early on, and we recited it every week in our Presbyterian church. But I never dissected it, never meditated on it, never felt it.
When Bailey was a baby, as I have said before, I lived in fear of her CF rearing it's ugly head. I'd hold this precious, rosy cheeked, beautiful baby on my lap and wonder when she'd get sick. How old would she be when she needed to go to the hospital all the time, like the children I read about on the forums. Would she be able to keep up with her friends, would she stand out as the "sick kid." Worst was when I thought - for a second at a time, because it was too unbearable - what if I have to say goodbye to my child. The average life expectancy is in the 30's...and even though she was a young baby and that was years and years away, it filled me with a feeling I can only describe as the devil. It is the worst feeling I have felt to date -- and it wasn't even real.
That fear can still sneak up on me at times. I love reading the Lord's prayer because it reminds me of ONE DAY AT A TIME. "Give us THIS DAY our DAILY bread..." Isn't that interesting that Jesus uses day twice in one sentence? It must be important! The whole prayer itself gives me a sense of peace, but this in particular confirms that we are not supposed to get ahead of ourselves. I believe God wants us to prepare for the future yes, but I also believe He wants us to be "present" in THIS day. If we are worrying or too focused on the future, how can we live for Him today?
I was not honoring God by being so fearful about Bailey's future. I was not giving Him room to be glorified by how well she was doing TODAY. I was not praising Him for her health - I was pleading with Him to not take away her health. I am thankful that I am not that same young scared mommy I was when Bailey was little, I would hate for her to see me like that. Instead, I stand firm on God's promise to prosper us and not harm us, to give us hope and a future. (that's Jeremiah 29:11 - the verse I have hanging over Bailey's bed).
I encourage you to ask God to point you towards a verse that you can return to over and over again as a source of peace, guidance and love.