So I didn't have my WW weigh-in on Saturday bc we went to NYC to see Lion King. We tagged along with my MIL's middle school classes, my mom also went. It was a wonderful day, complete with an L&M donut in the morning, and a gyro for dinner. Hmmm....
How am I doing. I am staying the same, based on my home scale. Emotional eating is still very much a part of my life. Last night I ate 3 Thin Mints only because I was watching Last Song, which made me sad, and I needed a pick me up. I wanted it, so I did it. Okay, it might've been 4 Thin Mints - I was eating out of the box and only stopped because a friend called me and I had to get up to answer. If I could figure out the secret of what it takes to WANT something in a particular moment and yet NOT fulfill that desire, I would immediately start to shed. And begin a multi-billion dollar empire I suppose, as I know I am not alone, by a landslide. Someone who doesn't understand what I am talking about, would suggest eating sugar free jello instead, or exercising during tv instead of eating. That really doesn't have anything to do with it, and yet I can't fully explain it. Self-indulgence, self-protection, self-sabotage all rolled into one...I don't know. All I know is that I do eat sugar free jello and exercise to tv sometimes. But then there are these other times, when the thought of me in a bathing suit still isn't enough to deter me, and I overeat. WHY. Like I'm saying, I don't really know. I guess it's similar to any addiction - why would a smoker smoke, even knowing they could die from lung cancer. Why would a drinker drink, even after his spouse has told him she'd leave with the kids if he didn't stop. Is the liquor, are the cigarettes that strong? Yes. It's so sad, isn't it.
So with each day, I am trying. Trying to make food choices that are good for my body, trying to move more, trying to understand myself.
I can SO relate to this emotional eating thing. I've found, too, that thinking about my weight didn't motivate me at all to exercise and such. The only thing that does motivate me is the desire to be HEALTHIER. To be stronger for my family. To be less moody and irritable with my kids. Ultimately, I know that when I'm indulging in my lazy, self-indulgent habits, I'm a worse mom and wife -- and they deserve better.
ReplyDeleteI've also, lately, started trying to be intentional about looking for other healthier things that make me feel better when that inner hole is gaping. And then I make myself do that FIRST -- I tell myself, first I'll grab the hand weights and work a little -- in ten minutes, if I still feel lousy I can have a cookie then. Usually, I feel better enough to forgo the cookie, or just getting up and doing something different distracts me from the cookie.
But not always. :)